Facebooked!
by ThatInvisibleGirl
Summary: The bromance that is Faine has begun. Kurt is not happy. AN EPIC glee journey though facebook from romance to break-ups and lots of random stuff too! UPDATED!
1. Faine

"I love you, Blaine."

"I know."

"What, no 'I love you too'?"

"Nope."

"You are just mean."

"Deal with it."

"Whatever..."

"..."

"..."

"Fine, I love you too. Happy?"

"More than you love _him_?"

"I guess so."

"You guess so?"

"He's my boyfriend. I can't say I don't love him..."

"I love him too, but in a different way. If you know what I mean."

"Ewwww..."

"Dude, I meant in a brotherly way..."

"...I knew that."

"Should we tell him?"

"About what?"

"Us. We need to go public."

"It would hurt him so much."

"Just change your relationship status on Facebook."

"NO! It would kill him."

"Fine, I'LL do it. It takes a man to do a mans job."

"..."

"OW!"

"Watch it."

* * *

| **Finn Hudson **is in a relationship with **Blaine Anderson**.|

**Quinn Fabray**: What? o.o

**Mercedes Jones**: What? O.o

**Santana Lopez**: Wanky. ;)

**Artie Abrams**: How long until **Kurt Hummel **finds out? ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: Not long, because you tagged him. ~.~

**Finn Hudson**: Yeah man, not cool. :/

**Kurt Hummel**: What. The. FUCK. :O

**Blaine Anderson**: It's a bromance. :D

**Finn Hudson**: Faine forever! :D

**Blaine Anderson**: :D

**Finn Hudson**: :D

**Mercedes Jones**: You have a couple name...? :o

**Kurt Hummel**: If thats how you want to play, boys. Its on... ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: Innuendo NOT intended, BTW. :O

**Blaine Anderson**: Bring it, bitch. ;)

* * *

**A/N **

**Pretty short, I know. Should I do a sequel? Kurts payback? Also, rated T for possible future chapters. Just to be on the safe side. ;) **

**Review please! **

**Also, this is my first fic. Go easy on me... :o **

**Thanks for reading. You rock. **


	2. Purtana

**Wrote another section :3**

* * *

|** Kurt Hummel** and **Santana Lopez **are in a realationship. |

_(**40 **people like this)_

**Brittany Pierce** : I thought you were gay. =/

**Santana Lopez**: He was, until he saw me. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**. :P

**Santana Lopez**: Kurtana forever. :D

_(**Kurt Hummel** and **6** other people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman: **I thought you liked me? :O

**Santana Lopez**: I like sleeping with you. :/

**Kurt Hummel**: Wait. Hold up. Your name is Puck Puckerman? *Raises eyebrow*

**Puck Puckerman**: I will not be called by that ridonkulous name my mom gave me.

**Kurt Hummel**: What, Noah? It's not that bad. ;)

**Puck Puckerman**: *middle finger*

**Kurt Hummel**: Deal with it. *coughNOAHcough*

* * *

|**Puck Puckerman** to **Kurt Hummel**: How about a threesome? A Purtana would be supermegafoxyawesomeHAWT. ;) |

_(**Santana Lopez** likes this)_

**Santana Lopez:** Wanky.

**Kurt Hummel**: Oh Gawd. :O

**Puck Puckerman**: You'll be saying that later. ;)

_(15 people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: DO NOT WANT.

**Puck Puckerman**: DO WANT. :D

**Kurt Hummel**: :S

* * *

**Blaine Anderson **to **Kurt Hummel**: Purtana can NEVER compare to Faine! Ever...

_(Finn Hudson likes this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: There never was a Purtana! :{

**Santana Lopez**: Totally was. Too good to deny it! ;0

_(**8 **people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman**: Awww yeah. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: GUYS! :O What ever happened to "This never leaves the room"?

**Santana Lopez**: I left a window open, and it escaped. I needed to open it. You see, things were getting to hot in there. ;)

_(Pucker Puckerman likes this)_

**Finn Hudson**: TMI.

**Blaine Anderson**: Too LITTLE information. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: Blaine, you perv. :/

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** is single

* * *

**Santana Lopez** is single

* * *

**Puck Puckerman** is still basking in the awesomeness that was Purtana.

_(36 people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: DISLIKE! :0

**Puck Puckerman**: Deal with it. 8D

* * *

**More soon! ;)**


	3. It's PARTIE time!

|**Mercedes Jones** to **Kurt Hummel**: You have some things to tell me about this Purtana! Deets boy! ;)|

**Kurt Hummel**: No. Way. I will never talk about it. I'm repressing those memories.. :O

**Santana Lopez**: I'll PM you beebz.

(_**Mercedes** Jones likes this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: O.O

* * *

|**Artie Abrams** and **Puck Puckerman** are married. |

_59 people like this._

**Puck Puckerman**: Deal with it. B|

**Santana Lopez**: Really? What about Purtana? :(

**Puck Puckerman**: I'll have reason to forget that on Artie and I's honeymoon. ;)

**Mercedes Jones**: Where to?

**Puck Puckerman**: Breadstix, then to that motel on the outskirts of Lima. ;)

**Artie Abrams**: Aww yeah.

* * *

| **Puck Puckerman**: PARTIE forever! |

_**(****Artie Abrams **and 5 other people like this)_

**Artie Abrams**: 3

**Puck Puckerman**: 3

**Santana Lopez**: Wanky. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: *gags*

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: *dry heaves*

**Quinn Fabray**: will get diabetis from this. Too sugary and sweet. Ewwers. :/

**Quinn Fabray**: fails at spelling... :/

* * *

|**Partie Puckerman** loves his new name. |

_(**Artuck Abrams** likes this)_

**Artuck Abrams**: loves his new name too.

**Mercedes Jones**: DISLIKE

**Kurt Hummel**: DISLIKE

**Finn Hudson**: DISLIKE

**Brittany Pierce**: I think it's kinda cute. :3

_(**Artuck Abrams** and **Partie Puckerman** like this.)_

_

* * *

_

Deds to **Kiss-the-stars-touch-the-moon** for this one. Kinda short, but will continue on in next chapter.

Thanks for the reviews.

I reviews. :3


	4. Wavid, Or Wuck?

_**A/N**_

_**Thanks for the reviews! :D**_

_**I lurve anyone that has reviewed. If you're an Anon, make an account, review, and then I will love you as well. :|**_

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** is friends with **Wes Harris** and **David Davidson.**

_(**8 **people like this)_

**Mercedes Jones**: Your parents really screwed you over, David. xD

_(**10 **people like this)_

**Artuck Abrams**: **David Davidson**! :P Whadda name!

* * *

|** Rachel Berry**: Why is everyone ignoring my friend requests? :( |

**Finn Hudson**: Its because they are intimidated by your talent. :)

**Rachel Berry**: C=

* * *

| **Finn Hudson**: Accept **Rachel Berry**s' friend requests or I will cutabitch. :| |

**Mercedes Jones**: Cutabitch? Hell to the naw. Thats my line. :/

* * *

**Rachel Berry** is friends with **Mercedes Jones**, **Santana Lopez** and **79** other people.

**Rachel Berry**: :D

* * *

|** Rachel Berry** to **Blaine Anderson**: I hope you don't intend on stealing our setlist for regionals. We may have drawn at sectionals but we don't need to give anything away.|

**Kurt Hummel**: ...SMH

**Blaine Anderson**: I don't need it. The Warblers got this in the BAG!

_(**David Davidson**, **Wes Harris** and **3** others like this)_

**Rachel Berry**: Whatever.

* * *

| **Kurt Hummel**: I really can't staaaay...! ;) |

**Blaine Anderson**: But baby its cold outside.

**Kurt Hummel**: I got to go awaaay..

**Blaine Anderson**: But baby its cold outside...

**Kurt Hummel**: This evening has been,

**Blaine Anderson**: Been hoping you'd drop in

**David Davidson**: NO. You will not do this again.

**Wes Harris**: The constant flirting at Dalton is enough. Facebook is TOO FAR.

**David Davidson**: I mean, the hand holding...

**Wes Harris**: The eyelash fluttering...

**David Davidson**: The eyesex...

**Wes Harris**: OH GAWD. NOT THE EYESECKS. O.O

_(**11 **people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: Do not! :(

**Wes Harris**: Don't deny it dude.

**Kurt Hummel **: Don't call me "dude". T_T

**David Davidson**: Whatev's.

* * *

**David Davidson** is friends with **Mercedes Jones**, **Quinn Fabray** and **67** other people.

* * *

**Wes Harris** is friends with **Partie Puckerman**, **Brittany Pierce** and **71** other people.

* * *

|** Puck Puckerman**: Partie is no more. Artie just wasn't strong in the sack. |

**Quinn Fabray**: It might have something to do with the fact he's a paraplegic..?

_(**28** people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman**: ... :L

* * *

**Puck Puckerman** to **David Davidson**: *High Fives*

_(**David Davidson** likes this)_

David Davidson:... You too?

Puck Puckerman: HUG ME, BRODDA! :D

* * *

**Finn Hudson** is single.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson** is single.

* * *

**Brittany Pierce **to** Finn Hudson**: Does this mean Faine is over? :(

**Finn Hudson**: Yes. D':

**Blaine Anderson:** :',(...

* * *

**David Puckerman**: loves the way he traded names with **Puck Davidson**. xD

_(**Puck Davidson** likes this)_

**Mercedes Jones**: So who is actually Puck?

**Puck Davidson**: Me!

**David Puckerman**: Me!

**Puck Davidson**: We both are.

**David Puckerman**: Deal with it.

**Mercedes Jones**: :L

* * *

**Wes Harris **to **Blaine Anderson**: "His hair is so perfect!" :P

**Puck Davidson**: "Have you seen his eyes? I get lost in the swirling maelstom of forest and ocean that are his eyes..". :S

**Wes Harris**: "His fashion sense is unbelievable.. He should work with Vogue."

**Puck Davidson**: "No, he should MODEL for Vogue!"

**Wes Harris**: "How can someone look THAT good in a Dalton uniform?"

**Puck Davidson**:" His lips are just...kissable."

**Wes Harris**: "His hands are so soft..."

**Puck Davidson**: "And that ass". ;)

**Blaine Anderson**:" I am on the verge of blocking you."

**Puck Davidson**: "But you luv us too much."

**Wes Harris**: Not as much as he loves his dear "Kurtie". :P

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel**: loves his new nickname.

**Wes Harris**: So you saw the conversation then? ;)

**Kurtie Hummel**: Maybe. ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: *blushes*

* * *

_**Thanks for reading guys! Again, Reviews are like cocaine to me. :o**_

_**Do want.**_


	5. Klaine

_**A/N. I was away all yesterday and most of today. Prolly just one chap today, more tomorrow. :)**_

_**Also, thanks for the reviews! I lurve you all. All 5 of you. ;) And anyone who put this story on alerts.**_

_**Anywho, heres chapter 5. :)**_

* * *

**Finn Hudson **is friends with **Burt Hummel-Hudson**.

**Kurtie Hummel**: You taught me Dad how to use facebook? :/ Not cool dude...

**Finn Hudson**: xD

**Kurtie Hummel**: BRB. ;)

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel** is friends with **Carole Hummel-Hudson**.

**Finn Hudson**: Well played. :0

* * *

**Burt Hummel-Hudson** is friends with **Carole Hummel-Hudson** and 84 other people.

* * *

**Carole Hummel-Hudson** is friends with **Burt Hummel-Hudson** and 89 other people.

* * *

**Mercedes Jones** is in a relationship with **Rachel Berry**.

**Mercedes Jones**: and **Quinn Fabray**. ;)

_(**8** people like this)_

**David Puckerman**: Hawt. ;)

**Mike Chang**: Seconded. :D

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: :|

**Mike Chang**: Sozz... :(

**David Puckerman**: WHIPPED!

_(**12 **people like this)_

* * *

**|Mercedes Jones** to **Quinn Fabray**: and **Rachel Berry**: Bring whipped cream... ;) |

**David Puckerman**: *drools*

**Mercedes Jones**: *slaps*

**Quinn Fabray**: *slaps other cheek*

**David Puckerman**: :(

* * *

**|Blaine Potter**: LOVES DEATHLY HALLOWS! YESYES! |

_(**Kurt Hummel** and** 2** others like this)_

**Wes Harris**: You changed your name?

**Puck Davidson**: SMH...

**Blaine Potter**: Haters gon' hate. )

* * *

|** Blaine Potter** to **Kurtie Hummel**: We still on for Breadstix at eight? |

**Kurtie Hummel**: Yes. :3

* * *

|** Kurtie Hummel**: Did not appreciate all of New Directions, Wes and "Puck" at Breadstix spying on him and Blaine. :{ |

**David Puckerman**: Deal with it.

**Santana Lopez**: Thats what you get for posting date plans on facebook. ;)

_(**23** people like this)_

**Wes Harris**: It was not a date. They're just "friends". ;)

**Quinn Fabray**: Cedes, Berry and I weren't there JUST to spy. We were on a triple date. :3

**Mercedes Jones**: And back to Berry's afterwards. ;)

_(__**6** people like this)_

**Kurtie Hummel**: Just because we're both gay doesn't mean we're dating... :/

**Puck Davidson**: But he lurves you! ;)

**Blaine Potter**: *crawls under a rock*

**Blaine Potter**: *dies*

**Wes Harris**: xD

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** to **Kurtie Hummel**: Is Blaine your Dalton dolphin? :)

**Kurtie Hummel**: ...ummm... :0

**Blaine Potter**: If he wants to be. ;)

**Kurtie Hummel**: *blushes*

**Blaine Potter**: You haven't answered my question. ;)

**Kurtie Hummel**: My status might. :P

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel** is in a relationship with **Blaine Potter**.

_(**118 **people like this)_

**Puck Davidson**: YES! Wes owes me 5 bucks! :D

**Blaine Potter**: ...You bet on us getting together? :0

**Mercedes Jones**: Who cares? Pick up your phone, white boy! :}

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: School already? :S

**Carole Hummel-Hudson**: Stop bitching about it and deal with it.

_(**87** people like this)_

**Mike Chang**: ...Mrs. Hummel-Hudson, will you marry me?

**David Puckerman**: She's going to marry me. I asked her in 5th grade...

**Blaine Potter**: Psh, she clearly loves me.

**Wes Harris**: She has no penis, Blaine... Why are you asking to marry her? Also, she clearly digs me. ;)

**Artie Abrams**: Bitch, please. Carole and I have serious chemistry. ;)

**Kurtie Hummel**: I have the best step-mom ever. :D

**Carole Hummel-Hudson**: ...

* * *

**Wes Harris**: One day back and Warbler practice already? Pshhhh... :(

**Rachel Berry**: Won't make a difference. We're still gonna win at regionals. :)

_(**12** people like this)_

* * *

**Puck Davidson**: **Burt Hummel-Hudson** clearly never taught his son the "sock on the doorknob" technique. O.o

**Wes Harris**: You tagged his dad? XD

**Puck Davidson**: They mentally scarred me... D:

**Finn Hudson: **I have to deafen myself with my iPod, to blot out that awkward phone convo in the next room. :o

**Blaine Potter**: Oh gawd... :S

**Kurtie Hummel**: *raises knife*

**Kurtie Hummel**: * grabs Puck*

**Kurtie Hummel**: *brings down knife*

**Kurtie Hummel**: *stabs*

**Blaine Potter**: *joins Kurt*

**Blaine Potter**: *stabs again*

* * *

_**Thats it! More chapters tomorrow! :)**_

_**Again, thanks for all the reviews! :D**_


	6. A party, you say?

_**A/N The party metioned is another fanfic I might do. I've made a preview of it, please review that. Go to my profile and click the only other story! :3 If it's successfull, the two might become linked. **_

_**Also, thanks for the reviews! I lurrrve you!**_

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel**: Who's going to the party tonight? :D

_(**15 **people like this)_

**Mercedes Jones**: Me! :D

**Kurtie Hummel**: :]

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: had to change his name back after the confusion... :(

**David Davidson**: Shame, I rather liked being called Puck. :/

**Puck Puckerman**: And I liked being called David. :}

**Santana Lopez**: Oh, get a room. :/

(_**13** people like this)_

* * *

**Quinn Fabray** is friends with **Will Schuester**.

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang**, **Sam Evans** and **57** others are friends with **Will Schuester**.

* * *

**Will Schuester**: Is there any Journey songs we haven't done? I need to make a setlist for regionals. :)

**Puck Puckerman**: *sighs*

**Mike Chang**: *facepalm*

**Rachel Berry**: *groans*

**Quinn Fabray**: *sulks*

**Will Schuester**: Whats wrong with Journey?

**Artie Abrams**: No offence Mr. Schue, but Journey suck. :/

_(**11** people like this)_

* * *

**Puck Puckerman **to **Kurt Hummel**: Will there be booze?

**Puck Puckerman**: I know you're online!

* * *

**Rachel Berry** likes **New Directions.**

* * *

**Blaine Potter **likes **The Warblers are better than New Directions.**

* * *

**Rachel Berry **to** Blaine Potter**: Lies!

**Blaine Potter**: Truth. ;)

**Rachel Berry:** Liesss...!

**Blaine Potter: **Trooth!

**Rachel Berry**: LIEZ!

**Blaine Potter: **TREWTH!

**Rachel Berry**: LIIIIIIEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!

**Blaine Potter: **TREEEEEEEWWTH!

**Kurtie Hummel**: WTF are you doing? T.T

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Kurtie Hummel:** So... have you done the dirty yet?

**Kurt Hummel**: O.o

**Wes Harris**: I'll PM you Santana.

_(**Santana Lopez** likes this)_

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: Our dear "Kurtie" has been up to some interesting things. ;)

**David Davidson**: We know. Wes and I kinda told his dad. xD

**Santana Lopez**: *high fives*

**Blaine Potter**: Oh dear... :L

**Kurtie Hummel**: I can't believe Wes told you! D: Also, I'm still not talking to you after that. }:(

**Santana Lopez**: I'll find out more from you tonight at the party, babe. ;)

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**: Has no clue what to wear tonight! ):

**Finn Hudson**: Clothes?

**Mercedes Jones**: Hilarious.

**Kurtie Hummel**: I'll skype you. ;)

**Mercedes Jones**: Thanks beebz. :)

* * *

_**These things are very short... :/**_

_**I will write more today! Hopefully. Please review! Anon reviews are accepted, so all you anons out there, REVIEW! **_

_**Chapter 7 will have more mentions of the aftermath of the "party". :)**_

_**Thanks for reading. You guys rock.**_


	7. Artie Abrams' Album

_**This will be kinda vague, as it's set after the party and I'm still writing about the party... Ugh. Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! I just got so carried away with He Remembers and The Misadventures of a Certain Basement Party...AHHHH! I'm sorry! Don't judge me! And thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock! But... this story has 45 alerts but only 23 reviews? Not cool. ;) Just kidding. Anonymous reviews are not blocked, so Please review! I'm a review addict. Reviews are like crack cocaine to me.**_

_**And now, chapter seven!**_

* * *

**Santana Lopez: **That Blaine sure is a fox! Bom chica wa wow!

**Blaine Potter**: You violated me. Twice.

**Kurtie Hummel**: And me... :'(

**Santana Lopez**: Can you blame me?

**Blaine Potter**: Yes. :|

* * *

**Santana Lopez** likes **Blaine Anderson** and **Kurt Hummel**.

**Kurtie Hummel**: ... you made fan pages for us?

**Santana Lopez**: Yeah baby! :D

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel** and **Blaine Potter** like **show me where Santana touched you, show me on the doll**.

**Santana Lopez**: Yeah, show me where I touched you. Slowly... ;)

**Kurtie Hummel**: O.O

* * *

**Artie Abrams** uploaded a new album.

**Wes Harris**: It was you!

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: That picture of me and Kurt is hawt. ;)

**Mercedes Jones**: Look at that fine NAKKED white ass. :P

**Mercedes Jones**: Oh snap! You got one of me and Kurt. :S

**David Davidson**: Crap! My parents are my friends on here. They can see this!

**Blaine Potter**: Kurt is gonna flip when he sees these. Half of them are of him. :o

**Rachel Berry**: Let's just hope **Burt Hummel **doesn't see them. ;)

_(**19** people like this)_

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: I didn't know you had the balls to actually tag his dad, Berry. :P

**Quinn Fabray**: Badass Berry. ;)

**Artie Abrams**: Yeah baby!

**Kurtie Hummel**: OH DEAR GAWD NO DELETE DELETE DELETE! ARTIE IMMA CUT YOU.

**Burt Hummel**: Get up here, Kurt. I know you're in the basement, I've been calling you for the last ten minutes. We need to talk.

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: Have fun.

* * *

**Puckzilla Puckerman** likes **Artie Abrams' embarrassing pictures of Kurt**.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray**, **Rachel Berry**, **Tina Cohen-Chang** and **39** others like **Artie Abrams' embarrassing pictures of Kurt**.

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel** hates every body. :[

**Blaine Potter**: Didn't go well with your dad?

**Kurtie Hummel**: In that talk, he used condoms, anal and lube in the same sentance. O.O *barfs*

**Finn Hudson**: I witnessed that too. :O

**Kurtie Hummel**: You snuck away halfway through.

**Finn Hudson**: I was there long enough to make myself projectile vomit eeeerywhere.

**Kurtie Hummel**: ...ew

* * *

**Blaine Potter** to **Puckzilla Puckerman**: Puckzilla?

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: That's me.

**Blaine Potter**: Check your inbox. ;)

* * *

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: RAWR!

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: RAAAAWR!

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr!

**Mike Chang**: And then they fucked.

_(**18** people like this)_

* * *

**Puckzilla Puckerman** enjoys the company of men. Specifacally the company of a one Blaineasauras SEX. ;)

**Finn Hudson**: What?

**Artie Abrams**: Knew it! :P

**Santana Lopez**: LOL _

**Brittany Pierce**: I don't understand...

**Santana Lopez**: Puck is a dolphin.

**Brittany Pierce**: Oh, I get it! :)

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: FRAPE!

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: ;)

* * *

_**And that's all! Thanks for any reviews! I love you all! :D**_


	8. DINOSAU R A DINOSAUR!

_**Hi everyone! I've finally decided to format this story. Since I never know how much is enough, I've decided to do at least 10 sections, or 1000 words. Whichever comes first. Likes, and friending not included. Or maybe included. Depends on my writers block.**_

_**That is all.**_

_**Read on.**_

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: I found out a lot more about my brother than I ever wanted to know.

_(**18** people like this)_

**Kurtie Hummel**: Like? :P

**Finn Hudson**: That you've slept with more girls than I have...

**Kurtie Hummel**: Deal with it.

**Finn Hudson**: But how? You're like, gay.

**Kurtie Hummel**: It's not my fault that the ladies favor me, Finny. ;)

**Carole Hummel-Hudson**: Boys, kitchen. Now.

_(**12 **people like this)_

**Santana Lopez**: Haha, owned!

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel**: thinks that he can't possibly get any more "talks". :/

**Finn Hudson**:... that was the awkwardest thing ever.

**Kurtie Hummel**: At least Carole was the one talking to me. You had to talk to my dad. xD

**Finn Hudson**: That's not even funny.

* * *

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Attention, attention everyone! Butch Kurt is sexy. That is all.

_(**12** people like this)_

**Kurtie Hummel**: You found those?

**Mercedes Jones**: I showed them to him. xD

**Sam Evans**: I haven't seen them. Linkage? :]

**Mercedes Jones**: I'll PM you.

_(**Sam Evans** likes this)_

**Kurtie Hummel**:... please don't.

**Sam Evans**: Too late. xD

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** to** Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Hey! You found those pictures from when Kurt and I were dating! (:

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Isn't he such a good boyfriend? :D

**Brittany Pierce**: He's good at a lot of things. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: Very good at a lot of things. ;D

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: You would know Santana. Jumping in that closet with us. :(

_(**Santana Lopez** likes this)_

**Santana Lopez**: There were other times as well. ;)

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: :O

**Santana Lopez**: Wanky.

* * *

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter** to **Kurtie Hummel**: How many times have you slept with Santana or Brittany? (:

**Kurtie Hummel**: Why?

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Just wondering.

**Kurtie Hummel**: There was Santana once, Brittany once, Santana AND Brittany, the Purtana incident... so thats four?

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: You're like a hooker, only unpaid. :P

* * *

**Mike Chang** likes **Butch Kurt**.

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang**, **Artie Abrams** and **56 **other people like **Butch Kurt.**

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel: **Can everyone PLEASE just drop butch Kurt? That happened last year... :[

**Blaineasuaras Rex Potter**: Never! :P

* * *

**Kurtie Hummel** posted a picture.

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: How did you get that?

**Wes Harris: **A picture of Blaine with his hair ungelled? Impossible!

**David Davidson: **I call photoshop!

**Blainasauras Rex Potter**: It's fake! Lies and slander! Lies and slander!

**Quinn Fabray**: Your actually really cute with curly hair. :3

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Then it's totes real, babe. ;)

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: Why does everyone have dinosaur names?

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: Only the sexy people. ;)

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: Rawr.

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: RAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

**Finnceratops Hudson**: RAAAWWWWWWWWR!

* * *

_**The next chapter will be better. I promise. Also, thanks for all the reviews! I love you guys! You all rock!**_


	9. The Boys Do Something Nice for a Change

**_Okay! It's update time. I'm updating all of my stories today, and adding a new one. It takes a lot of time, as I am not intelligent, and tend to goof off a lot. And I also never plan, I just get an brief idea, and then ad-lib it. And then it never turns out like the original idea I had in the first place. And then it's only like, 450 words long. I can never write loads in one go. I find it ridiculously hard. Anywho, I don't plan on ending this fic anytime soon. I'm just going to tip away at it. _**

**_Also, go listen to the song Electric Kiss. It's reeks of awesome._**

**_And, on a final note, this chapter will be very random. And will probably involve a lot of name changing. Just saying. It is a good piece of advice to learn off all characters second names, because the first names will change constantly over the course of the chapter._**

**_So, without any MORE writing and really long authors notes from me, ( who reads these anyway? ) here is chapter... whatever. I've already forgotten how many chapters I've written. Oops._**

**_Oh, and this chapter is VERY fluffy!_**

* * *

**Finnceratops Hudson:** Rawr!

_(**Puckzilla Puckerma**n and **4** others like this)_

**Rachel Berry**: This is seriously immature.

**Blaineasauras Rex Potter**: What is? :3

**Rachel Berry**: This whole dinosaur thing!

**Araptor Abrams**: No it isnt... :(

**Samasaur Evans**: Berry is just jealous.

**Mikeodon Chang**: Haters gonna hate.

* * *

**Ariel Berry**: Two can play at that game, boys. :D

_(**8** people like this)_

**Cinderella Pierce**: Cindy suits me. :]

**Jasmine Lopez**: It sure does. ;)

**Tiana Jones**: Why is there only one black princess? :/

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: I know, right? Just blonde hair blue eyed girls.. :[

**Belle Hummel**: I always liked Belle. She and me look alike, no? ;)

**Tiana Jones**: Why aren't you a dinosaur? :S

**Belle Hummel**: It's me. And Disney princesses. A perfect match made in heaven.

**Tiana Jones**: Well answered. :D

**Pocahontas Fabray**: True. :)

* * *

**Beast Anderson** to **Belle Hummel**: I want you to be the Belle to my Beast, forever and always.

**Belle Hummel**: I love you, Blaine. With all my heart.

**Beast Anderson**: I love you, Kurt.

* * *

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: People could learn a thing or two from Blaine! :/

**Jasmine Lopez**: All the good ones are always gay. :[

**Tiana Jones**: Tell me about it. :{

* * *

**Jake Sully Evans** to **Pocahontas Fabray**: I love you Quinny. A whole lot. :)

**Pocahontas Fabray**: I love you too, Sam. But why Jake Sully?

**Jake Sully Evans**: Well, Avatar is like Pocahontas, except in space and with blue people. :]

**Pocahontas Fabray**: Oh, Sam... :)

* * *

**Pocahontas Fabray** to **Belle Hummel**: We have the best boyfriends EVER! :D

**Belle Hummel**: I know! :]

* * *

**Tiana Jones** and **102** other people like **Klaine**.

**Belle Hummel**: Klaine?

**Tiana Jones**: You and Blaine's couple name! :D

**Belle Hummel**: *blushes*

* * *

**Crazy Asian General Chang** to **Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Love. :)

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**:...Love. You know thats not his actual name, right?

**Crazy Asian General Chang**: It's not? :O

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: It's Li Shang. :)

**Crazy Asian General Chang**: Oh...

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: I still love you, offensive name and all.

* * *

**Cinderella Pierce**: POP!

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Six.

**Tiana Jones**: Squisshhh...

**Belle Hummel**: Uh Uh.

**Jasmine Lopez**: Cicero.

**Pocahontas Fabray**: Lipshcitz...

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: He had it coming.

**Belle Hummel**: He had it coming.

**Tiana Jones**: He had it coming all along!

**Jasmine Lopez**: If you'd been there,

**Pochantas Fabray**: If you'd seen it,

**Ariel Berry**: Could you have told me that I was wrong?

**Prince Charming Abrams**: You know she was talking about the popping candy I bought her today, right?

* * *

**Ariel Berry**: Some guys are just too sweet. :3

_(**8** people like this)_

**Belle Hummel**: Like Blaine. :3

**Pocahontas Fabray**: Sam: :)

**Cinderella Pierce**: Artie.

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Mike. (:

**Li Shang Chang**: ASIAN FUSION!

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**:... Oh Mike... :/

* * *

_**Gaaaaahhh! I told you it was fluffy. Kinda. Thats all ten sections. And 1,000 words. Or close to it hopefully. :)**_

_**New chapter soon! Which is whenever I feel like it.**_


	10. Can I borrow your handcuffs?

**_Was that last chapter okay? I hope so. Now, another chapter of Facebooked! _**

**_But not until the Author's Notes are done. Which may take a while. Because I tend to rant and ramble and rabbit my way through these, and then this ends up being as long as the actual story, which is depressing... :(_**

**_Also, I just noticed that Li Shang Chang is a ridonkulous name. xD_**

**_Thanks for all the reviews! _**

**_I LIEK REVIEWS AS MUCH AS I LIEK MUDKIPZ._**

**_And I herd u liek mudkipz._**

**_;)_**

**_I'll stop now. :/_**

**_[generic disclaimer about not owning Glee]_**

* * *

**Puckzilla Puckerman** to **Beast Anderson**: Beast? Like, sex beast?

**Beast Anderson**: I wouldn't know. Lol. Ask Kurt. :P

**Belle Hummel**: Shut up Blaine. :(

**Beast Anderson**: Mmmkay. :(

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: Whipped! xD

* * *

**Dave Karofsky** joined Facebook.

* * *

**Azimo Brightsdale** and **67** other people are friends with **Dave Karofsky**.

* * *

**Ariel Berry**: Ignoring Dave's request.

(_**45** people like this)_

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Same.

**Finnceratops Hudson**: Rawr! :|

**Ariel Berry**: What?

**Tiana Jones**: Dinosaurs can't talk, silly. :) And I'm ignoring his request too.

_(**8** people like this)_

**Jake Sully Evans**: Same.

**Belle Hummel**: I didn't even get a request! xD

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: Lucky betch. :(

* * *

**Mulan Cohen-Chang** to** Belle Hummel**: Still coming over tonight? :)

**Belle Hummel**: Yes. :D

**Jasmine Lopez**: This sounds kinky. ;D

**Beast Anderson**: Nuh-uh! Kurt is only kinky with me. ;)

**Jasmine Lopez**: ...

**Beast Anderson**: I just made it worse, didn't I?

**Jasmine Lopez**: Yup. xD

* * *

**Tiana Jones** to **Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Girl, your dress was FABULOUS today! Where did you get it?

_(**8** people like this)_

**Mulan Cohen-Chang**: Kurt made it. :3

* * *

**Tiana Jones** to **Belle Hummel**: Why have you never made me a dress? :'(

**Belle Hummel**: Because you never asked. :P

**Tiana Jones**: I'm coming over tonight, boy!

**Belle Hummel**: It's Monday. I'm in Dalton.

**Tiana Jones**:...oh.

**Belle Hummel**: I have no school tomorrow... :]

_(**Tiana Jones** likes this)_

* * *

**Jasmine Lopez** to **Beast Anderson**: So, got any handcuffs for me to borrow?

**Beast Anderson**: Only if you don't mind the fluffy kind. ;)

_(**Jasmine Lopez** and **35** others like this)_

* * *

**Tiana Jones**: thinks Kurt Hummel is a born fashion designer.

**Belle Hummel**: Oh, you flatter me... *blush*

**Tiana Jones**: I love you, boo.

**Belle Hummel**: but you usually look like a Technicolor zebra. :P

**Tiana Jones**: :/

**Belle Hummel**: I love you too! :D

* * *

**Jasmine Lopez** to **Beast Anderson**: So, got a whip?

**Beast Anderson**: Yes. :3

**Jasmine Lopez**: Wanky. Can I borrow it?

**Beast Anderson**: Of course. When you return my handcuffs. ;)

* * *

**Jasmine Lopez** likes **Kinky Klaine**.

* * *

**Cinderella Pierce**, **Wes Harris** and **69** others like **Kinky Klaine**.

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: just walked in on his gay brother and six girls. Just in their panties. :o

_(**8** people like this)_

**Belle Hummel**: I was measuring them for dresses! :O

**Jasmine Lopez**: It was still really hot. ;D

**Cinderella Pierce**: His soft lady hands felt nice. On my boobs. :D

_(**16** people like this)_

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: What? Uber jealousy right here.

**Belle Hummel**: I was measuring her bust! I had to measure all their busts! D:

**Puckzilla Puckerman**: Oh.

**Finn Hudson**: Mah.

**Prince Charming Abrams**: GAWD.

**Li Shang Chang**: Life ain't fair.

_(**11 **people like this)_

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: Wanna know what's worse than finding your brother in his room with six topless girls? Your brother (topless) in a room, with another guy. Who is also topless. MENTAL SCARRAGE.

**Belle Hummel**: Why didn't you knock? :{

**Carole Hummel-Hudson**: Because he's not fucking assed.

_(**89** people like this)_

**Li Shang Chang**: I love your mom! :D

* * *

**That is all. Enjoy the rest of your day.**


	11. ICE CREAM!

**_Sorry I haven't written in so long!_**

**_I'm back to school now and I never get time between basketball and piano, singing , drama, homework, yadda yadda yadda. :(_**

**_I was going to write last night, I swear, but then I got home really late from this show I was doing. Singing and all that. Even though I can't sing. Oh well. It was much more fun back stage than on it. For realz._**

**_Also, quote of the day,_**

**_"I'm not gay, I'm just hetroflexible!"_**

**_Ahhh... Good times. _**

**_Oh, yeah. And heres more Facebooked._**

**_:3_**

* * *

**Puck Puckerman **to **Artie Abrams: **Can I call you wheels? ;)

**Artie Abrams**: Can I call you "Soapy"?

**Puck Puckerman**: What?

**Artie Abrams**: We all know you're gonna go to jail. And you WILL drop the soap sometime...

_(**48** people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman**: Touche.

* * *

**David Davidson** to **Wes Harris**: Do they know?

**Wes Harris**: Who now?

**David Davidson**: THEM.

**Wes Harris**: Oh themmm...;)

**David Davidson**: Yes them. Do they know?

**Wes Harris**: No. I don't think they've noticed anything.

**David Davidson**: Excellent.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Is now VERY aware of the shotgun has. Also, that wasn't funny. :[

_(**Wes Harris** and **David Davidson** like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: I actually hate you guys. D:

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: What happened?

**Wes Harris**: We took Kurts phone.

**David Davidson**: And changed the time.

**Wes Harris**: Locked his bedroom door, and left him without a key.

**David Davidson**: So him and Blaine go to the next best place, the couch.

**Wes Harris**: To do what they do best. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: Wanky.

**David Davidson**: Anyway, since the time on his phone is wrong,

**Wes Harris**: And Burt comes home to watch Deadliest Catch.

**David Davidson**: And sees them on the couch.

**Wes Harris**: Sweaty.

**David Davidson**: Tousled.

**Wes Harris**: Naked.

**David Davidson**: And since we had a walkie talkie under the couch.

**Wes Harris**: We heard the only thing Blaine thought to say.

**David Davidson**: "So... how about them Lakers?"

(18 people like this)

**Blaine Anderson**: That wasn't funny.

**Wes Harris**: But...

**David Davidson**: It really was.

**Blaine Anderson**: Revenge is sweet, darlings.

**Kurt Hummel**: And best served cold.

**Brittany Pierce**: Revenge is ice cream?

* * *

**Kurt Hummel:** now has a curfew. And is also grounded.

**Wes Harris**: For the prank thing?

**Kurt Hummel**: No shit, sherlock. :/

**Wes Harris**: OMG.

**David Davidson**: Did you...

**Wes Harris**: Did KURT...

**David Davidson**: JUST SWEAR?

**Kurt Hummel**: Bitch, please just shut up.

**Wes Harris**: I like sassy Kurt. :3

* * *

**Blaine Anderson **uploaded a new **album** called "**Wes and David's wild side**."

_(**Kurt Hummel** and **76** other people like this)_

**Wes Harris**: Those are from the Christmas party!

**David Davidson**: Oh dear gawd...

**Blaine Anderson**: I submitted the video of this to a pr0n site. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: DEAL

**Blaine Anderson**: WITH

**Kurt Hummel**: IT

**Blaine Anderson**: WE HAVE GOTTEN OUR ICE CREAM.

**Kurt Hummel**: AND IT IS COVERED IN AWESOMESAUCE.

**Blaine Anderson**: AND CHERRIES

**Kurt Hummel**: NUTS!

**Blaine Anderson**: MORE AWESOMESAUCE!

**Kurt Hummel**: YES, BUCKETS OF AWESOMESAUCE.

**Blaine Anderson**: Do you wanna go get ice cream? :]

**Kurt Hummel**: Sorry babe, I'm grounded. :[

**Blaine Anderson**: What if I brought the ice cream to you?

**Kurt Hummel**: You going to try and come into a one mile radius of my dad?

**Blaine Anderson**: On second thought...

**Kurt Hummel**: Thought so.

* * *

**Finn Hudson** is in a relationship with** Rachel Berry.**

**Finn Hudson**: This isn't funny Rachel. How did you even get into my account? :/

* * *

**Finn Hudson** is single.

* * *

**Rachel Berry **is single.

* * *

**Rachel Berry** is lonely. :[

**Finn Hudson**: How about Puck? :1

**Rachel Berry**: That was a mistake!

**Finn Hudson**: Dating you was a mistake.

**Rachel Berry**:...

**Rachel Berry**: I still care, you know.

**Finn Hudson**: Just leave me alone Rach.

* * *

_**That's all!**_

_**I have no school Tuesday, I might update then. :)**_


	12. Yeahhh Baby!

**_It's Tuesday, and I'm updating! Yay!_**

**_Also!_**

**_CHRISTOPER PAUL "SEXBOMB" COLFER JUST WON A FREAKING GOLDEN GLOBE!_**

**_Dance party! Wooo! So happy for him! I love him to bits, did I ever say that? Like, even more than I love Darren Criss. I really love Darren Criss. But not as much as I love Chris Colfer. DID YOU SEE HIS SPEECH? OMIGAWD. I LURVE HIM._**

**_For reals._**

**_I will marry him one day. _**

**_Oh, and he totes not gay. He's just a bisexual in denial. I will prove that when I marry him._**

**_You will see._**

**_Anyway, heres more Facebooked! Adeventures!_**

* * *

**Kurt Hummel: **can't wait for April fools! :D

_(**Wes Harris** and **2 **others like this)_

**Finn Hudson**: I'm scared. :o

**Kurt Hummel**: You should be.

* * *

**Finn Hudson** likes **Warblers are scary good at pranks**.

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**, **Artie Abrams** and** 227** others like **Warblers are scary good at pranks**.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson** to **Kurt Hummel**: The usual?

_(**Kurt Hummel** likes this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: Of course. ;)

**Burt Hummel**: What is the "usual".

**Kurt Hummel**: A movie.

**Burt Hummel**: Be back before midnight.

**Kurt Hummel**: Will do. :/

**Wes Harris**: Klaine go to movies all the time but they never watch them. What a waste! ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: Grrrrrr...

**Blaine Anderson**: You spied on us?

**David Davidson**: Of course. We don't want you hurting Kurt. We've grown fond of him, you see.

**Kurt Hummel**: *sigh*

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Wes Harris**: You. Me. My place. 8.

**Wes Harris**: DONE! ;D

**Santana Lopez**: ;)

* * *

**Wes Harris** loves **Santana Lopez**...!

**Kurt Hummel**: No one cares!

_(**18** people like this)_

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: It takes a minute to love them, but a lifetime to forget.

_(**45 **people like this)_

**Finn Hudson**: Get over yourself Rach. Some people actually have it bad.

**Rachel Berry**: Like who? ]:/

**Finn Hudson**: Like me? Or my brother, my mom, and my stepdad?

**Rachel Berry**: I'm so sorry, I forgot!

**Finn Hudson**: What about Artie? Blaine? Do you even care?

**Rachel Berry**: I do! :'(

**Finn Hudson**: ...

* * *

**Rachel Berry** is in a relationship with **Puck Puckerman**.

* * *

**Dave Karofsky** changed his interests to Men.

_(**79** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: It's so great that you've come to terms with this. :)

**Kurt Hummel**: About time. :/

**Finn Hudson**: You guys knew?

**Mike Chang**: Dudes, you knew he was gay?

**Dave Karofsky**: Actually... I may have kissed him.

**Kurt Hummel**: Against my will. :/

**Puck Puckerman**: WTF? Karofsky! Not cool.

**Sam Evans**: No one touches our boy like that.

**Puck Puckerman**: Our boy?

**Puck Puckerman**: I know you're online, Sammy.

* * *

**Sam Evans**: Has found the confidence to do this...

**Quinn Fabray**: Do what...?

* * *

**Sam Evans** changed his interests to Men and Women.

_(**107 **people like this)_

**Quinn Fabray**: Oh that...

**Kurt Hummel**: I CALLED IT! YEAH BABY! Santana owes me five bucks. ;)

**Sam Evans**: You bet on my sexuality?

**Kurt Hummel**: Yes. :3

**Sam Evans:** Alrighty then. :]

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Kurt Hummel**: I'm kinda lacking in funds. Can I pay you in sexual favors?

_(**Kurt Hummel** likes this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: Of course.

**Blaine Anderson**: Do I get any say in this?

**Santana Lopez**: Threesome?

**Puck Puckerman**: Foursome?

**Brittany Pierce**: Five?

**Mike Chang**: Tina and I say seven.

**Artie Abrams**: With one?

**Santana Lopez**: 8? Awww yeah.

**Kurt Hummel**: New Directions= Nude Erections. :P

_(**7** people like this_)

* * *

**Thats it! Reviews are love!**


	13. I Don't Even Like Soup

**_So, anyway, I'm updating now. I'm sorry I don't update as much as I used to, I just don't have the time now I'm back to school._**

**_For serious, one time I updated this story four times in one day. :3_**

**_That's probably the only time I'll ever do that... :/_**

**_Anyway, I should prolly just get on with the story..._**

* * *

**Santana Lopez: **Best. Night. Ever.

**Puck Puckerman**: Kurt is a sex god.

_(**17** people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: You flatter me. ;P

**Brittany Pierce**: You're really soft. Like feathers. And clouds.

**Kurt Hummel**: Good to know.

**Santana Lopez**: Like clouds and feathers in more than one way. ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: What? Elaborate on that, please.

**Puck Puckerman**: You're white. Everwhere. ;)

(_**7** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Eeeeeeeeverywhere. :P

**Kurt Hummel**: I can't believe you just said that. On FACEBOOK.

**Santana Lopez**: Deal with it, snowflake.

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** to **Kurt Hummel**: You're like Edward Cullen except not as ginger.

**Kurt Hummel**: Am I really that gay?

* * *

**Blaine Anderson:** and **Kurt Hummel** are going to see RENT! :D

**Wes Harris**: Alright everybody, it's date invasion time!

_(**12** people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: ... you have got to stop posting our dates here. :/

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: Why do we always follow Klaine around? I mean, we even followed them on the ice cream run.

**Mike Chang**: Because, Kurt's death stares are hilarious.

_(**15** people like this)_

* * *

**Mike Chang** to **Artie Abrams**: Marry me?

_(**Artie Abrams** likes this)_

**Artie Abrams**: Of course.

**Quinn Fabray**: Lemme guess, a serious bonding moment on Halo?

**Mike Chang**: Maybe.

* * *

**Mike Chang **is single.

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang** is single.

* * *

**Artie Abrams** is single.

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** is single.

* * *

**Artie Abrams** is married.

* * *

**Mike Chang** is married.

* * *

**Finn Hudson** has the flu. :(

**Rachel Berry**: Do you want soup?

**Mercedes Jones**: Would you like any soup?

**Quinn Fabray**: Soup can be arranged, if you want any.

**Finn Hudson**: I don't like soup...

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** likes **Britney Spears**.

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**, **Santana Lopez** and **4** others like **Britney Spears**.

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: Why are we all liking Britney Spears? Why isn' there a page for Dr. Carls Britney Fantasies?

**Artie Abrams**: Then just make one...

* * *

**Santana Lopez** and **Brittany Pierce** like **Dr. Carl's Britney Fantasies.**

**Puck Puckerman**: I want a Britney Fantasy!

**Brittany Pierce**: No. :(

**Puck Puckerman**: Why not?

**Brittany Pierce**: Because dressing up in drag is Blaine's thing.

_(**19 **people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: That was one time! :(

**Wes Harris**: I have pic's of you in a pink thong. :3

**David Davidson**: Pole Dancing. :P

**Wes Harris**: With dollar bill's in said thong. _**(*)**_

___(_**128 **_people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson: **You guys have got to let that go. :L

* * *

_**That's all folks.**_

_**Reviews are like crack cocaine to me. I've never actually had crack-cocaine, but that's not actually the point**_

_The **(*)** is a mention from another story I wrote, _The Misadventures of a Certain Basement Party_. Maybe you've read it? I hope so. :3_

_Also,_

_**TWILIGHT BASHING FOR THE WIN!**_

_Did you guys see my "subtle" twilight bash? :P _

_Sorry, I just really dislike the books. And I had to get that in there. :P_


	14. Happy Birthday!

**_Hai Guis._**

**_I am updating now. :3_**

**_Also, it's_**

**_DARREN CRISS'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!_**

**_And mine is tomorrow. It's a sign. ;)_**

**_Almost._**

**_It's almost a sign for us to be almost together._**

**_So... anyway. In case you haven't noticed already, I like to babble in authors notes. I don't apologize. :P_**

* * *

**Sam Evans is single.**

* * *

**Quinn Fabray is single.**

* * *

**Mercedes Jones Kurt Hummel: **Have you ever coughed up a tiny handbag?

**Kurt Hummel**: Not that I remember.

**Mercedes Jones**: How could you forget?

**Kurt Hummel**: I'm pretty sure that never happened.

**Mercedes Jones**: Boo, we were at breadstix with your boy, Blaine. And you two were all like "gay? gay gay gay..." and then a tiny purse came out of your mouth.

**Kurt Hummel**: I find that offensive.

**Blaine Anderson**: I don't think that ever happened.

**Mercedes Jones**:...

* * *

**Finn Hudson** is setting up a kissing booth for valentines!

**Wes Harris**: David, I believe we have a party to crash.

**David Davidson**: Right on!

**Finn Hudson**: I'll be the only one there.

**Wes Harris**: My statement still stands.

**Finn Hudson**: O.O

* * *

**Puck Puckerman** is in a relationship with **Rachel Berry**.

**Artie Abrams**: Sam owes me five dollars! :D

* * *

**Wes Harris **is in a relationship with **Santana Lopez**.

**Quinn Fabray**: And what kind of relationship would this be?

**Wes Harris**: Fuck Buddies. :)

* * *

**Finn Hudson** listed** Kurt Hummel **as his brother.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** listed **Finn Hudson **as his brother.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** to **Blaine Anderson**: Happy Birthday!

**Wes Harris:** DAMNIT.

**David Davidson**: God. Freaking. Damnit.

**Mercedes Jones**: What?

**Wes Harris**: This means very loud birthday sex.

**David Davidson**: DO NOT WANT.

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Kurt Hummel**: It's my birthday tomorrow.

**Kurt Hummel**: Dream on. :P


	15. I Don't Get It?

**_Who saw the _****When I Get You Alone ****_video?_**

**_BLAINE IS A GODDAMN SLUT._**

**_But I still love him._**

**_Kinda._**

**_But, for serious. He needs to get his shit together and ask Kurt on a date already. You can't just prance around a GAP store singing to some carrot top wannabe and expect everything to be okay. It won't be. And that was also the most elaborate way to buy a pair of socks ever._**

**_EVER._**

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Kurt Hummel:** You. Me. My Place. Eight O clock.

**Kurt Hummel**: Wes?

**Santana Lopez**: What about him?

**Kurt Hummel**: You're dating.

**Santana Lopez**: Sex isn't dating.

**Kurt Hummel**: We were dating, and that was just sex.

**Puck Puckerman**: When did that happen? O.o

**Kurt Hummel**: You were there for half of it. :/

_(**18** people like this.)_

**Santana Lopez: **Whatever, Hummel. Are you coming or not?

**Artie Abrams: **Ba dum tsh. xD

_(**37 **people like this.)_

**Kurt Hummel**: What? I don't get it. :/

**Kurt Hummel**: OH! :O Not at your house anyway. I'm going to Blaines tonight. ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: Deal with it Santana. :P

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Birthday Sex FTW.

**Emma Anderson**: Pick up your phone.

**Kurt Hummel**: Answer your mom's call, Blainey. :P

**Blaine Anderson**: Damn.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Sex talks are awkward. :\

**Wes Harris**: Kurt has the record for those. :P

**David Davidson**: I wonder if **Burt Hummel** knows about that time you guys had sex in Walmart?

**Blaine Anderson**: He does, actually. He had to pick us up from jail when we got booked for public indecency. So there. No point tagging him. :P

**Puck Puckerman**: Complete badassery...

**Mike Chang**: Legendary...

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** got a pet duck! :D

**Santana Lopez**: What did you call it hun?

**Brittany Pierce**: Duck. (:

**Santana Lopez**: Thats, uh, nice. :)

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: needs ideas for solos in Regionals. :)

**Santana Lopez**: Jizz in My Pants.

**Quinn Fabray**: Dick in a box.

**Finn Hudson**: Blah Blah Blah.

**Mercedes Jones**: Rude Boy.

**Puck Puckerman**: Hot- Avril Lavigne.

**Rachel Berry**. :(

* * *

**Rachel Berry: **thinks that her fellow gleeks are all very immature.

**Artie Abrams**: Your FACE is immature.

_(**29** people like this.)_


	16. Valentines

**_Yay Silly Love Songs! Go Kurt! So glad he got the courage to tell Blaine how he feels. _**

**_Seriously, Klaine is so close, I can taste the sweet boy kisses. I can't wait until it's canon._**

**_Also, 20,000 hits! Thank you so much everybody! _**

**_Anyway, more Facebooked, anybody?_**

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Brittany Pierce: **How's duck? :)

**Brittany Pierce**: Dead. :'(

**Santana Lopez**: What happened? ):

**Brittany Pierce**: I thought they just ate rainbows. :(

**Santana Lopez**: How about we go down to the petshop and get you a fish?

**Brittany Pierce**: Yay! :D

* * *

**Quinn Fabray** is in a relationship with **Rachel Berry.**

**Artie Abrams**: Thats hot.

**Puck Puckerman**: Super hot.

**Wes Harris**: Foxy. ;)

**David Davidson**: Mega foxy. ;D

**Mike Chang**: AWESOME!

**Blaine Anderson**: Supermegafoxyawesomehot?

**Artie Abrams**: That is my new favorite word. :D

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: So, who's got plans for Valentines?

**Blaine Anderson**: We do. ;D

**Santana Lopez**: I don't. :/

**Kurt Hummel**: Come with us. ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: Sounds like a date. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: I love you guys. :D

* * *

**Artie Abrams** to **Brittany Pierce**: Come with me to breadstix for valentines?

**Brittany Pierce**: Can my fish come?

**Artie Abrams**: Yeah. Sure. :)

**Brittany Pierce**: Yay! :D

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: Valentines is so tacky.

**Blaine Anderson**: I made you a macaroni glitter card!

**Kurt Hummel**: :/ *eyeroll*

**Blaine Anderson**: Love you!

**Kurt Hummel**: I tolerate you.

* * *

**Rachel Berry** to **Quinn Fabray**: ;)

**Quinn Fabray**: ;)

**Puck Puckerman**: Woah, woah, woah. Back up. What's going on?

**Finn Hudson**: A smiley can mean so much. O.O

**Quinn Fabray**: ;)

**Rachel Berry**: ;)

* * *

**Wes Harris** to **David Davidson**: Tennis?

**David Davidson**: Singles?

**Wes Harris**: Of course. Especially after what happened last time.

**David Davidson**: Ugghhh... nightmares after that.

**Wes Harris**: I knooooooow...

**David Davidson**: It was so luvvy-duvvy. :(

**Wes Harris**: And the eyesex!

**David Davidson**: It was supposed to be a sport, not a sexcapade. :(

**Wes Harris**: And then they beat us!

**David Davidson**: ABORT THE PLAN! WE CAN NOT PLAY TENNIS!

**Wes Harris**: Why?

**David Davidson**: THEY are down there! I can see it from my dorm room!

**Wes Harris**: Don't keep looking. They may get it on down there.

**David Davidson**: Oh, the fearless sexual notoriety. :(

**Wes Harris**: Goddamn Klaine!

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Brittany Pierce**: Hows Fishy?

**Brittany Pierce**: GREAT!

**Santana Lopez**: Brill. Talk to you later, hun! :)

* * *

**Mike Chang** to** Tina Cohen-Chang** : Love you, Valentine. :)

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: I love you so much, Mike Chang.

* * *

Thats all!

Reviews are love!


	17. FRAPE!

**_I actually liked the cover of Take Me Or Leave Me from RENT. :3  
_****_A lot of people don't. :(_**

**_Also,_**

**_WHERE WAS THE KURT? D:_**

**_The new episode was lacking in Kurt. :( He wasn't in it at all. And Klaine was SSOOOOO close to being canon!  
_****_GOD FREAKING DAMNIT! *angryface*_**

**_Anywho, Thank you for the reviews. I beam when I get them. :D_**

**_I wrote that on Weds. But then I had an English essay to finish and I had to cram. I mean, for reals, we read the most boring book ever, and then I had to analyze it. :( _**

**_So, I'm only getting to this now._**

**_Sorry. :(_**

* * *

**Santana Lopez: **Klaine really knows how to do Valentines. Wanky.

**Kurt Hummel**: ;D

**Santana Lopez**: Like, seriously. Are you sure you aren't bi?

**Kurt Hummel**: I'm sure. :) Just really comfortable with my sexuality.

**Santana Lopez**: Makes sense.

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: is depressed because his brother gets more play than him.

**Kurt Hummel:** Not my fault you got no game. :P

_(**37 **people like this)_

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Sleepover night tomorrow! You guys know the drill. :D

_(**13** people like this)_

**Mike Chang**: Can the Warblers come? Their pretty cool. :D

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: The boys are at your house, so why ask me? And yes, invite the. I love that dapper boy, Wes and David. (:

**Blaine Anderson**: ?

**Mike Chang**: The glee girls (and Kurt) go to Tina's for an all American type sleepover. And the glee boys come to mine for a Halo marathon. Sound like a plan?

**Blaine Anderson**: I will kick your butt at Halo.

**Mike Chang**: Bring. It. ON.

* * *

**Sam Evans**: thinks **Kurt Hummel** is sexy. Like, tie me up, tie me down sexy. Rawr. ;D

_(**183** people like this)_

**Quinn Fabray**: Oh my Gawd, Sam! xD

**Santana Lopez**: Wankayyy... ;)

**Artie Abrams**: Frape? Hopefully...

**Mercedes Jones**: Sam, someone fraped you gooood. xD

**Blaine Anderson**: He is sexy like that... Kinky ropes are kinky. ;D

_(**47** people like this)_

**Sam Evans**: Oh. My. God. FRAPE! :O

**Sam Evans**: Blaine, Wait, what? o.o

**Blaine Anderson**: Yeah baby... ;)

**Rachel Berry**: Hehehe... xD

**Sam Evans**: Do you think he saw this? O.o

**Kurt Hummel**: Oh yeah, he did.

_(**60** people like this)_

* * *

**Sam Evans**: Still thinks Kurt Hummel is a sex beast. ;D

_(**67** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: You didn't change your password? *raises eyebrow* and he IS a sex beast. ;D

**Sam Evans**:... That would have been smart. :/

**Sam Evans**: You have got to stop making me do double takes.

**Puck Puckerman**: Yeah, I mean, who puts their password as "password". ;)

**Sam Evans**: IT WAS YOU!

**Puck Puckerman**: You have no proof.

**Sam Evans**: Puck, I will kill you. :(

**Puck Puckerman**: Sam, you have no proof. xD

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: thinks **Finn Hudson**s ass is bootylicious.

_(**101** people like this)_

**Finn Hudson**: Um, thanks man. I guess.

**Brittany Pierce**: Are you two dating now?

**Lauren Zizes**: What the hell, Puckerman?

**Puck Puckerman**: I will kill you Sam:

**Sam Evans**: No. 1. You have no proof. No. 2. Who puts their password as 'boobs'? xD

**Mike Chang**: The sleepover tomorrow will be interesting... :o

* * *

**Thanks for all the reviews thus far!**

**I love you guys!**


	18. ALL HAIL QUINN'S BABYGROWS!

**_So... heres what's going to happen. _**

**_With the help of ChuckNorris'sLeftFist ( thank you!) , it has been decided that the sleepover will be a three chapter affair. One for the lead up (this chapter) one for a ficlet of the sleepover, and one for the aftermath. I'll try and release them in quick succession. :)_**

**_So anywho, enjoy some Facebooked. :D_**

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: Is there a dress code tonight?

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Babygrows! :D

**Kurt Hummel**: Babygrows? xD

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Babygrows, Footsies, whatever. :3

**Kurt Hummel**: I don't have any. Come shopping with me?

_(**Tina Cohen-Chang** likes this)_

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Of course. :)

* * *

**Mike Chang**: Everyone needs to bring munchies tonight. Don't forget!

_(**8** people like this)_

**Finn Hudson**: No one remembered last time. That was depressing.

**Puck Puckerman**: Carrots are NOT the same as chips. :(

**Artie Abram**: We still ate them.

**Puck Puckerman**: They were still gross. :(

* * *

**Lauren Zizes** to **Tina Cohen-Chang**: Sorry, I can't go tonight. Wrestling event tomorrow across state. :(

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Maybe next time. :)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: I have babygrows! I love them!

_(**7** people like this)_

**Mercedes Jones**: xD What colour?

**Kurt Hummel**: Blue. :)

**Mercedes Jones**: Mine are red. (:

**Rachel Berry**: Purple!

**Santana Lopez**: Pink is bestest. ;)

**Brittany Pierce**: No way! Yellow is bestest!

**Quinn Fabray**: Have you two lost your mind? Black and white is best!

**Mercedes Jones**: Black and white?

**Quinn Fabray**: COW PRINT BITCHES! BOW DOWN TO ME!

**Kurt Hummel**: *bows*

**Rachel Berry**: *bows*

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **likes **Babygrows**.

* * *

**Rachel Berry**, **Quinn Fabray** and **13** others like **Babygrows**.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray**: Babygrows are amazing. Its like a top, a pants, and socks all rolled into one big suit of cuddliness.

**Kurt Hummel**:...I'm submitting that to Oxford dictionary as a definition. :O

**Quinn Fabray**: Really?

**Kurt Hummel**: Of course! It's pure genius! :D

* * *

**Artie Abrams**: You are all about to marvel at my Halo skills.

**Puck Puckerman**: The same skills that lost you a hot girlfriend?

**Artie Abrams**: ...Well played.

* * *

**The babygrows that Quinn is talking about, I HAVE THEM! They're black and white, they've got a hood too, With ears, horns, and eyes on it. It's awesome. :D**


	19. Snack Sneakcapades

**_Now, the ficlet chapter! Enjoy! _**

**_Also, about the Babygrows, you can get them in Primark, if you're British or Irish. Maybe in Walmart? I dunno. If you don't know what they are, google them. :3_**

**_Or maybe you call them onesies. :D_**

**_It's a little Klainey. Only because I love them._**

**_Also, it's shameless fluff. xD_**

**_Also, who's seen the Blame it on the Alcohol video?_**

**_Remember guys, after the Raine, comes a Klainebow. :D_**

* * *

Blaine Anderson stared at the screen where he was trying to kill Sam Evans in Halo: Reach. He was winning, and Sam was an easy kill. He sucked. Blaine stared at the phone on his thigh. He was hoping for a text from Kurt. Maybe if Blaine texted _him_? He didn't want to seem desperate. He was just down the road, he didn't_ need_ to text his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

He loved that word. He loved it even more now that he could say Kurt was _his _boyfriend.

Blaine sighed with contentment and then shot Sam in the head again.

"Not again!" Sam whined.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kurt was in Tina's house, painting Quinn's nails and catching up on the McKinley gossip. He swept the brush along Quinn's nail, leaving a trail of pink nail polish in its wake. Just two more nails to be done, and then she would paint his blue.

"So Kurt, how's Blaine?" Quinn asked.

"Blainey. How's Rach?"

"Wanna know a secret?"

"Of course."

"We aren't actually going out." came a giggly reply.

"What?"

"We wanted to see how people would react." She was skitting with laughter now.

"I should have known better. I can't believe I believed you. You and Rachel? Perfect match made in hell."

"Eh, Manhands and I are starting to get along."

"But you could never date."

"I don't swing like that."

* * *

Wes and David sat at the back of Mike's room quietly munching on the last bag of chips. And the last oreos. And the last of everything.

That was foolish of them.

* * *

Kurt admired his blue fingernails. He chanced a peek at the mirror across the room. Tina had just given him a goth makeover, and his jaw dropped when he saw the amount of eyeliner he was wearing. His lips were blacker than Gaga's in Paparazzi, and he looked like a panda wearing mascara.

"Say cheese!"

"Ah! Rachel! Did you just take a picture of me?"

"Yes..."

"Delete it."

"No. This is sooo going on Facebook."

* * *

"Hey, guys! Where are the snacks?" Two audible gulps were heard from the back of the room.

_Shit._

_Shit shit shit_... Wes and David were going to die.

* * *

Rachel Berry was getting her eyebrows down by the busty Latina girl. She tried not to wince at the pain, because Santana would CUT HER. Yikes. She did not want that. At that minute, Mercedes came into a room with a bowl of buttered popcorn in one hand, and a bowl of M&M's in another.

"Tina, how much snacks did you buy?" Quinn gasped.

"Enough to feed the American Navy for six weeks."

"This is why we love you!"

The gleeks at Tina's burst into fits of giggles. Tonight was one of the best sleepovers they'd ever had.

* * *

"YOU ATE ALL THE SNACKS?" Blaine raged. He sure gets angry when someone eats the last Red Vine.

"They were omnomomalicious..." Wes whimpered

"OMNOMNOM..." David whispered.

"We are going to DIE of starvation" Puck groaned.

"What about Tina's?" The boys turned to face Mike Chang. "She always has a lot of junk food. Only her Dad really eats it, but she still has loads. She only lives down the road."

"Will she give any to us?"

"Probably not. She'd know we'd take all of it." Mike sighed.

"Then let's just take it!"

"Let's roll." Puck rubbed his hands together, and a small tugged at the corners of his lips.

"Wait, Puck. Not yet. We need a plan. We can't just bust in there and steal their munchies. We'll get caught. We need to think this through," explained Blaine. "Here's what we do..."

* * *

Kurt smiled widely when he heard his message tone. He crossed the room and picked it up to check the message. He tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth, still smiling.

"Who is it from?" Rachel asked.

"His dolphin! It's from your dolphin, right Kurt?"

"It's from my dolphin, Britt." Kurt sighed dreamily.

"What did he say?"

"Just that he loves me." A chorus of boo's echoed around the room, along with pieces of popcorn aimed at his head.

"You're boyfriend is a wuss!" screamed Santana through a fit a laughter.

"But he's MY wuss." Another wave of popcorn flew straight as his head. "NOT MY HAIR!"

* * *

"Lemme get this straight... We'll run up the road, sneak in the back door, steal the snacks and run away. All while Blaine creates a distraction by serenading Kurt, who is currently in the room on the second floor, window on the left, the girls will run to the window too, all while we make our escape." stammered out Finn. "That sounds overly complicated."

"Do you want chips or not?" snapped Puck.

"I guess so.."

"You guess so? Finn, man up, put on your jacket and come on! We're leaving!"

* * *

Quinn giggled as she felt an eyeshadow brush sweep across her eyelid. She opened her other eye and looked at the other people doing makeovers. Kurt was doing Tina's, Santana and Brittany were doing Rachel. Right now they had her face white, and harlot red lipstick up to her cheeks. Turning someone into a clown never got old. In fact, Kurt was going Lady Gaga's Telephone on Tina. The blue eyeshadow and the hot pink lips did suit her, though. She could only imagine what Mercedes was doing to her.

"So, how's Dalton, Kurt?" Santana asked, focused on the amount of blusher she was putting on Rachel. No such thing as too much.

"It's great... I still miss you guys though."

"Awww... I miss you too Kurt!"

"Really?"

"Sometimes. I need your fashion advice now that I don't have my Cheerios uniform to wear."

"Wait, wait. Hold up. You quit the Cheerios?"

"Let me tell you a story. A story about a halftime show, some zombie make up, and a cannon."

* * *

The boys ran down the road, their sneakers the only sound on the eerie street. They were wearing hoodies over their pajama's, and knapsacks on their backs. Puck was running behind Artie, pushing him down the middle of the suburban lane. Blaine was at the back. He was carrying Mike's guitar in his left hand. He hadn't thought to bring his own. He didn't think he need it.

The boys at the front of the pack ran to the back of the house. He waited a few seconds before he got a text from Mike.

**From Mike**: _We have the key. :D Start playing so we can get in without them noticing!_

Blaine walked to the front of the house. He leaned down and picked up the nearest pebble. He tossed it at the window on the left.

* * *

_Click._

"What was that?"

"It was the window, Berry. I think."

_Click._

_"_Yeah, it was the window. Someone's throwing stones_."_

"Let's go check!"

"Well, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh."

The gleeks ran over to the window, and drew the curtains. They swooned at the curly haired boy outside holding a guitar, and opened the window.

* * *

Blaine looked up at the swooning girls, and Kurt, and started strumming.

_I've been alone_  
_Surrounded by darkness_  
_I've seen how heartless_  
_The world can be_

_I've seen you crying_  
_You felt like it's hopeless_  
_I'll always do my best_  
_To make you see_

_Baby, you're not alone_  
_Cause you're here with me_  
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
_Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
_And you know it's true_  
_It don't matter what'll come to be_  
_Our love is all we need to make it through_

* * *

Meanwhile, the boys heard the gentle guitar music begin and made their move. They crept inside the back door of the house and made their way to the pantry, where the "goods" were kept.

They began stuffing the knapsacks with every snack in sight. Oreos, Malteasers, M&M's...

"They have no Red Vines... Blaine will be upset."

* * *

Kurt was almost crying with happiness. No one had ever done anything this nice to him. Nothing in the world could compare to this moment. It would be etched into his mind till death took his soul to the mystery that was after life.

_Now I know it ain't easy_  
_But it ain't hard trying_  
_Every time I see you smiling_  
_And I feel you so close to me_  
_And you tell me_

_Baby, you're not alone_  
_Cause you're here with me_  
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
_Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_  
_Our love is all we need to make it through_

* * *

Blaine sang, looking into Kurt's eyes. He had always wanted to serenade him at night. It was really romantic. He wanted to sweep Kurt off his feet. But it was a little cheesy. And no he had a chance to do it, no questions asked! He loved the way he felt at this moment in time.

_I still have trouble_  
_I trip and stumble_  
_Trying to make sense of things sometimes_  
_I look for reasons_  
_But I don't need 'em_  
_All I need is to look in your eyes_  
_And I realize_

_Baby I'm not alone_  
_Cause you're here with me_  
_And nothing's ever gonna take us down_  
_Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
_And you know it's true_  
_It don't matter what'll come to be_  
_Our love is all we need to make it through_

* * *

The boys had filled their bags to the brim, and were now making their way back outside. They had to wait for Blaine to leave before they could, they had to make sure the other party weren't watching them leave. Outside, behind the house, they heard that last chorus of Blaine's midnight song.

_Cause you're here with me_  
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
_Cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
_And you know it's true_  
_It don't matter what'll come to be_  
_You know our love is all we need_  
_Our love is all we need to make it through_

* * *

"Kurt, you're perfect. Everything about you. Your smile, your eyes, your face, your laugh, your personality. Everything. Except one little thing. Only one thing would I ever change."

"What?" Kurt whispered.

"Just your last name."

Kurt sprinted from the window, down he stairs and out the front door. He ran into Blaine and pulled him into a crushing hug.

"I love you Blaine, never leave me," he whispered.

"I love you too." Blaine lifted Kurt's chin up and kissed him softly. They stayed like that for a few moments until Blaine broke the kiss.

"I have to go now. Before they notice I'm gone."

"'You'll come back though, right?" Kurt sighed peacefully.

"In a little while, of course."

And with those final words, Blaine picked up his guitar and ran off into the darkness of midnight while Kurt ran to the front door to return to the slumber party with his girls.

* * *

The girls watched as Blaine ran off into the night. They closed they window and drew the curtains. Then Kurt burst into the room, red in the face. They all shrieked and hugged him and screamed. He laughed and pulled them closer. This night, no one here would ever forget.

* * *

The boys ran down the street, adrenaline pumping in their veins. They sprinted the last 10 yards to Mike's front door.

In Mike's room, they high fived Blaine. He was smiling at his phone. Texting Kurt, they guessed.

"Blaine?"

"Huh?"

"They had no Red Vines..."

"Oh, okay. Whatever."

"Wait, you don't care?"

"No, not really."

"Are you okay?"

* * *

"Kurt?"

"Huh?"

"Stop texting Blaine and say cheese!" He looked up and a flash burned his eyes.

"This is sooo going on facebook."

"That photo is ridonkulous." Every one in it had some kind of wacky makeup on. Tina was Gaga, Kurt was gothic, Rachel a clown, Quinn was a swamp thing, Brittany was like, well, Britney Spears, Mercedes had a Potter scar and glasses, and Santana was a cat. Eyeliner whiskers and all.

"This is going to be my profile picture!" screamed Britt.

* * *

"Guys, I'll be right back." called Blaine, halfway through the door.

"How long is "right back?" asked Sam suspiciously

"Ehhh... No longer than six hours, no fewer than two minutes." he answered and slammed the door behind him.

"Should we follow him?"

"You'll regret that Finn. It's Blaine. And Kurt is down the road." said Puck.

"So?"

"They're notorious for their sexual fearlessness!"

"Uhhh..."

"Do you even know what that means|?"

"No...?"

"Finn, you're an idiot."

* * *

Kurt looked the message on his phone, he got up from his seat on the bed, and tip-toed towards the bedroom door. The girls were transfixed on the rom-com in front of their eyes. He opened it, slipped out and shut it behind him. He crept down the stairs, only to feel a hand on his shoulder.

"Quinn! Hi there."

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"Try again."

"Fresh air?"

"Nope. But I'll buy it. Enjoy yourself. Blaine too."

"How do you know where I'm going?"

"It's you. And Blaine is just a few doors down."

"Oh. Love you Quinn."

"Love you too, sweetie."

* * *

Blaine walked down to the park, on the next block over. He looked around. The light rain was soothing on his skin. He continued to walk.

* * *

Kurt strolled down the lane. He glanced around. No Blaine in sight. He quickened his pace and soon saw the park. He made his way over to the swings and sat down on the nearest one. He tilted his head to the moon and tasted the rain.

* * *

"Let's follow them anyway." Finn chirped.

"Okay." shrugged Puck. "What do could possibly happen? Oh yeah, more MENTAL SCARRAGE."

"It won't be that bad.."

"Yes, it will."

"What if we bring popcorn to throw at them?"

"Grab the popcorn, and let's roll!"

"Really?"

"NO!"

* * *

"Hey, where's Kurt?" Rachel cocked her head to one side.

"Probably just went to take a call outside, or something..." Quinn mumbled.

"Outside? In his babygrows?"

"Yeah, probably.."

"Quinn, where did he go?"

"I don't know!"

"Yes you do."

"Fine. Somewhere with Blaine..."

"Let's go find them!" Brittany screeched.

"What about they're privacy?"

"Who cares?" shrugged Santana.

* * *

Blaine walked until he reached the park. He spotted at the boy in the blue onesies on the swings. He was looking at the ebony sky, and the moonlight shone on his pale, porcelain skin. Even in a pair of obnoxious pajama's, there was no denying his innocent beauty. He smiled and jogged over to the swing beside him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

* * *

They boys took a vote, and Puck was the one against going to the park and throwing popcorn at the lovers. The boys, including a reluctant Puck, pulled on their sneakers and hoodies once more and stepped out into the cold spring night. They ran down the street with ninja-esque quietness. They halted at Tina's, as the girls were on the front lawn, waiting on Santana and Brittany. Brittany had forgotten how to tie her shoelaces and Santana had to step in.

"Where are you guys going?" Rachel narrowed her eyes.

"What's it to you?"

"Just wanted to know, Noah."

"Fine, then we're going to throw popcorn at a certain rainbow flag couple."

"Same! Except we don't have any popcorn. I'll go get some." Tina turned on her heel to head back into the house. A wave of "NO"'s crashed into Tina's eardrums.

"We'll give you some of ours." Artie held out a large tupperware box of popcorn the the cheerleader in the yellow babygrow.

"Thanks!" Brittany smiled at her boyfriend. "Can we go to the park now?"

"The park?" Mike asked.

"That's where we figured they'd be."

"Let's go then."

* * *

The boys swung in a comfortable silence until Blaine jumped off. He waved his finger and put on his best sexy 'come hither' look.

"I look just like you in that mattress comericial." The curly haired boy stuck out his tongue at his boyfriend.

"Shut up!" the countertenor laughed. He jumped off his swing, and landed on the sand beside Blaine. He caught his hand and Blaine led him up onto the jungle gym.

"Sometimes," Blaine began "I like to stand up here, on this very jungle gym, and just watch the stars."

"You live two hours away."

"We've got a sharp one!" Kurt stuck out his tongue at the the teenager beside him. "Also, care to explain the goth makeup?"

"Makeovers."

"What? Makeovers? I always thought girls had pillow fights in their underwear."

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Your 'straight' is showing."

* * *

The remaining gleeks ran to the park in the drizzle. The boys had long since given their hoddies to the girls, as all they had were babygrows and shoes. Mike was pushing Artie this time. And Brittany, because she was on his lap.

They stopped at the edge of the grass and looked at the boys on the jungle gym. They heard the faint sound of their muted laughter. The watched as the taller boy brought the shorter into a soft hug. They fit together like a two piece jigsaw, perfectly. The pale light of the moon shone on the curls of the older boy, and his smile.

"They're...perfect." whispered Rachel.

"I can't wait till they get married..."

"DIBS BRIDESMAID!" everyone turned to face the Britney lookalike sitting on her boyfriends lap. She may have screamed a little too loud.

"Nuh-uh!" retorted Wes. "I'm gonna be bridesmaid!"

Single Ladies started belting out from Mercedes' pocket. She whipped the Blackberry out and glanced at the caller.

**Incoming call from**: _Kurt XXX :) _

She pressed the green button.

"Hello..?"

"Tell Brittany that she can be my bridesmaid," Mercedes repeated the message to the innocent girl. She clapped her hands with glee. David comforted Wes's mock sobs. "If," he continued, "She can survive the night after me and Blaine go to KILL YOU GUYS."

She looked up at the jungle gym. She could just make out the narrowed eyes of one soprano, phone in hand, looking directly at them, .

"Uh..guys? We better run."

* * *

**This is the longest thing I've ever written. Just saying. It's well over due. I hope you enjoyed it. :)**

**Please review! :D**


	20. I shall get you a salad

**_Sorry for not updating sooner. I've had a lot of things on my mind. o.O_**

**_Anyway, new chapter._**

**_Oh, wait before that._**

**_KLAINE IS CANNON! IT HAPPENED! OH DEAR GOD! KLAINE HAPPENED! ASDJKLAJSDASDJ!11!ONE!1_**

**_I can't. I just can't._**

**_Also, I wasn't able to watch this online, so I had to wait THREE WEEKS to watch it on TV. Stupid Ireland..._**

* * *

**Finn Hudson: **You will not guess what I just saw in the mall.

**Puck Puckerman**: Your future husband?

_(**5** people like this)_

**Finn Hudson**: No. D: Mike and Sam in babygrows!

**Santana Lopez**: Is it weird that I'm really turned on by that?

**Sam Evans**: Nope. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: You. Me. My house. 1 hour.

_(**Sam Evans** likes this)_

* * *

**Blaine Anderson** uploaded a new album: **Embarrassing things I found in Kurt's room.**

**Puck Puckerman: **I love the Kurt + Blaine. Thats not stalkerish at all. ;D

**Wes Harris: **Really? I prefer the handcuffs. :P

**David Davidson:** Handcuffs? Over the My Little Pony pajamas? No way.

**Kurt Hummel**: Hey Blaine. Guess what?

**Blaine Anderson:** What? ;)

**Kurt Hummel:** Your life will now become a giant, constant cold shower.

**Blaine Anderson**: ...you wouldn't. D:

**Kurt Hummel**: Watch me.

* * *

**Wes Harris**: Blaine is having withdrawal symptoms! xD

**David Davidson**: This is just priceless.

**Rachel Berry**: Withdrawal? From what? :O

**Wes Harris**: Sex. ;D

**Rachel Berry**: Oh...

* * *

**Mercedes Jones** to Tina Cohen-Chang: Skype?

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Yep. :)

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**: is going to get a salad for Tina, without any chicken feet. ;)

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Shaddup, you. :P

* * *

**Sue Sylvester** to **Blaine Anderson**: I don't like you, Frodo. And if I find out that you do anything to hurt dear Porcelain, I will destroy that curly mop that lies atop your hair with a meat carver, while blindfolded.

**Blaine Anderson**: I don't even remember friending you...

**Mercedes Jones**: No one friends her. She's just there, in your friend list. D:

* * *

**Wes Harris**: Do you like waffles?

**David Davidson**: Yeah, I like waffles.

**Wes Harris**: But do you like pancakes?

**David Davidson**: Yes, I do enjoy pancakes.

**Wes Harris**: BUT DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?

**David Davidson**: CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL, BITCH!

**Wes Harris**: WAFFFFFFFLESSSSS!

**Blaine Anderson:** WAFFLES!

**David Davidson**: WAFFLEZ!

**Kurt Hummel**: DO DO DO CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!

**Puck Puckerman**: He's one of them. D:

* * *

**Artie Abrams**: Love is when a woman puts on perfume, and a man puts on colonge, and then they out and smell each other.

_(**13** people like this)_

**Brittany Pierce**: What do I smell like?

**Artie Abram**: Rainbows and beauty. :)


	21. Handbells

**_Yeah, I've been off because I had to study. I apologize. I blame my mom._**

**_ANYWAY, I'm updating all my stories as soon as possible. And just before I was kicked off for a month, I got a glee-Harry Potter crossover almost finished just before my hiatus, so, yeah. That will be posted soon._**

* * *

**Blaine Anderson:** There is not enough cold water in the world for the amount of cold showers I need to take. D:

**Wes Harris**: You earned it, old chum.

**Blaine Anderson**: Geez, thanks for the helpful advice, Wes. :/

**Kurt** **Hummel**: You know, its only been 48 hours...

_(**8** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Wat? T.T

**Wes** **Harris**: He's right, actually. You may have a problem Blaine.

**Blaine** **Anderson**: I do not have a problem! ):

**Puck** **Puckerman**: Even I'm not that bad, dude.

_(**16** people like this)_

* * *

**Mercedes Jones: **Has anyone seen Pirates of the Carribean 4? C:

**Kurt Hummel**: I have! (:

**Mercedes Jones**: How was it?

**Kurt Hummel**: Brilliant. Johnny Depp was unbelievably sexy.

_(**Santana Lopez** likes this)_

**Mercedes** **Jones**: As always, boo. But what about the plot? :)

**Kurt Hummel**: Um...

**Mercedes** **Jones**: You were just focusing on Johnny Depp, weren't you?

**Kurt Hummel**: :D

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: Britain's got Talent is the best thing ever.

**Puck Puckerman**: Not better than America's got Talnet.

**Finn Hudson**: Nuh-uh. Way better.

**Puck Puckerman**: Got it recorded?

**Finn Hudson**: Yep.

**Puck Puckerman**: I'm coming over. Deal with it. :P

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: Gay and Alan. For The Win!

**Mike Chang**: Huh?

**Puck Puckerman**: Get your ass over to the Hudmels. And bring Artie, Sam, Wes, David and Blaine.

**Mike Chang**: Okay! (:

**Puck Puckerman**: Wait, Blaines already here.

* * *

**Mike** **Chang**: Gay and Alan are the best thing since sliced bread!

_(**8** people like this)_

**Kurt** **Hummel**: It was brilliant. :3

**Puck** **Puckerman**: It was so awesome. :D

**Finn Hudson**: Class act. :P

**Rachel** **Berry**: Umm... I don't get it...?

**David** **Davidson**: http :/www .youtube .com/ watch?v= 0p3e1GxxxOs

**Rachel** **Berry**: What. Is. That. D:

**Artie** **Abrams**: Don't be hatin'.

**Wes Harris**: Dya think I could do that with different sized gavels?

* * *

**Puck Puckerman **uploaded a video.

_(**18** people like this)_

**Santana** **Lopez**: Lol, when did you film this?

**Puck** **Puckerman**: An hour ago. Blaine was outside Kurts door just trying to get Kurt to hug him. Or hold his hand. Or poke his face.

**Blaine** **Anderson**: He hasn't touched me in 60 hours! D:

**Kurt Hummel**: You know, if you had just apologized for uploading the embarrassing pictures...

**Blaine Anderson**: I'm sorry! Oh my god, words cannot express how sorry I am! Please, forgive me, O awesome Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel**: In person. Don't say sorry on facebook. :P

* * *

**Blaine** **Anderson**: Ice cream dates are the best. :3

**Puck** **Puckerman**: Better than handjobs-in-the-back-of-the-cinema-dates?

**Blaine Anderson**: Yes.

**Puck Puckerman**: Liar.

**Blaine Anderson**: I know. :P

* * *

**Mike Chang**: What was the best thing before sliced bread?

**Sam Evans**: Lemons.

**Puck Puckerman**: Hookers.

**Finn Hudson**: Football.

**Santana Lopez**: Scissoring.

**Blaine Anderson**: Hogwarts.

**Rachel Berry**: Broadway.

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Bread-slicer.

* * *

**Brittany** **Pierce**: New episode of Fondue For Two tonight. :)

_(**14** people like this)_

**Santana Lopez**: Who's on?

**Brittany Pierce**: Blaine Dolphin. :)

**Quinn Fabray**: This is going to be interesting... :P

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: Best moment on Fondue For Two? xD

_(**6** people like this)_

**Santana Lopez**: "So... lace panties, or leather?"

**Artie Abrams:** "Ever have sex in school?"

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: "Handjobs or blowjobs?"

_(**3** people like this)_

**Mike Chang:** "Does Kurt still taste like vanilla and rainbow?"

**Mercedes Jones**: "Best flavour of condoms?"

**Quinn Fabray**: "So... how do dolphins have sex?"

**Brittany Pierce:** Blaine didn't answer those. :(

**Finn Hudson**: I wonder why, Britt. :P

**Blaine Anderson:** Lace, frequently, blow, yes, cherry, ask Kurt. He has experience in that. ;)

_(**8** people like this)_

**Santana Lopez** Wanky wanky. ;D


	22. 250 Dollars

**_Yeah, so more Facebooked!. (:_**

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Party at mine Friday!

_(**39** people like this)_

**Wes Harris**: Warblers and ND?

**Blaine Anderson**: Of course. :)

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: Just donated $20 to Redcross for Japan! I feel awesome. :3

**Santana Lopez**: Give me until Saturday. I'll raise at least 80.

**Rachel Berry**: You're on! }:D

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** to **Mercedes Jones**: I'm picking you up in 20 minutes. Be ready.

**Finn Hudson**: Huh?

**Mercedes Jones**: I have a feeling he has "nothing" to wear Friday night. :P

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: Your party is gonna be cool and all, be the boy-to-girl ratio will be terrible.

**Blaine Anderson**: D: What do I do? :O

**Puck Puckerman**: Don't you guys have a sister school?

**Blaine Anderson**: On it.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Okay, got 34 girls from Crawford Country to come. :)

**Santana Lopez**: You needs more dudes tomorrow.

**Blaine Anderson**: ...On it.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson:** Got the Dalton Soccer team to come as well. :)

**Santana Lopez**: Can't wait. ;)

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**: Ugh... walking into about 50 shops looking for something "right". :/

**Kurt Hummel**: Worth it though, right? :D

**Mercedes Jones**: Sure...

**Kurt Hummel**: Mercedes! D:

**Mercedes Jone**s: It's a nice outfit Kurt, but shopping for 4 hours is exhausting. :S

**Kurt Hummel**: Whatever. :P

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: Hotpants or a miniskirt?

**David Davidson**: Not hotpants. I'm wearing them. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: Lol, kinky. Leather skinnies?

**Wes Harris**: I got dibs on wearing those. :P

**Brittany Pierce**: Go with a red minidress. :)

**Santana Lopez**: Thanks Britt. :)

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: Only 2 hours. :D

_(**59** people like this)_

**Brittany Pierce**: Can't wait! :)

_(**28** people like this)_

* * *

**Santana Lopez:** Heels or boots?

**Wes Harris**: I'm wearing heels, and I'm pretty sure David is wearing boots.

**Santana Lopez**: So, which ones?

**Wes Harris**: Whatever looks best. :P

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: Finally ready for tonight!

**Mercedes Jones**: "Finally" being the keyword there.

_(**19** people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: Whatever, like.

* * *

**Rachel Berry** to **Blaine Anderson:** NO spin the bottle. :P

_(**12** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Haha, of course not. :P

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: Party was off the hook. :D

_(**50** people like this)_

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: The awkward moment when Wes and David turn up the party in drag.

_(**12** people like this)_

**Wes Harris**: The leather skinnies made me look sexy, no? ;)

**David Davidson**: Dream on Wesley, my hotpants and boots were the yummiest. :P

**Kurt Hummel**: I was the sexiest at that party and none of you can deny it. ;P

_(**14** people like this)_

**Kurt Hummel**: Told you!

**Blaine Anderson**: You dun needa tell me, I already know. ;)

* * *

**Rachel Berry** to **Santana Lopez**: Our bet. How much did you raise?

**Santana Lopez**: $250.

**Rachel Berry**: Impossible.

**Santana Lopez**: Nope. Easy. :P

**Rachel Berry**: How did you do it? D:

**Santana Lopez**: 1. Go to a party dress all slutty.

**Santana Lopez**: 2. When a boy asks for your number, grab his phone.

**Santana Lopez**: 3. Text REDCROSS to 90999.

**Santana Lopez**: BOOM JUST GAVE JAPAN 10 DOLLARS

**Rachel Berry**: I've seen that somewhere...

**Santana Lopez**: Doesn't matter. I win. :D

**Rachel Berry**: Well, congrats.

**Santana Lopez**: SUCK MY IMAGINARY PENIS, BERRY!


	23. You shouldn't have done that

**_I've been watching a Lady Gaga concert on TV for the last two hours. I only remembered now that I have to install 6 programs onto my dads computer before he gets home. _**

**_Shit._**

**_Anyway, have more Facebooked!._**

* * *

**Finn Hudson: **Schools out! :D

_(**128** people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman**: Fuck yeah. B)

**Artie Abrams**: You know what this means?

**Finn Hudson**: We sit inside all day playing video games, ignoring the sun outside?

**Artie Abrams**: Exactly.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: Only two days into the holidays, and I've gotten fifty four pages of Pip Pip Hooray done. :)

**Blaine Anderson**: How? D:

**Kurt Hummel**: When I want something, I get it. I want this done. :P

**Blaine Anderson**: I want you. ;)

**Kurt Hummel:** Yeah, but unlike me, when you want something, you don't always get it. Like now. :P

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: Time to gets meh tan on. ;)

**Quinn Fabray**: You don't really need to tan. Your skin is fab.

**Santana Lopez**: You need a tan.

**Brittany Pierce:** Do I? :)

**Santana Lopez**: Wouldn't hurt.

* * *

**Wes Harris**: Just ate all the Redvines at Blaines house. :P

**Kurt Hummel**: You broke in?

**Wes Harris**: Yep..

**Blaine Anderson**:Y͕̌̓ͤ̉̾̽o̳ͯͨ͒ͩ̌̀̚u͉̰͉̪͓͐ͣ̃̾ͅ ̡̝̩̯̗̦͋̊̇̇ͣ͋̌sͥ̃̇ͩh̥͓̗̮͚ͫ͑̊̒̒͂͞o͍͈͆͂̂ͧu͏̺̪ͅḽ̜̝ͧͭ̀ͬͫ̄d̜̥̱̥̀͑̊̓̔ͅͅn̛̲̝͎͙̦̫ͮ̐'̶̜̺̮̳̣̹͌̿̌̅t̡̯̙̿̋̿ ̤͇̼ͮ͂͂ͦ͗̄̚h̷ͮ̉ͩ̊ä̪̥̩́ͯ̽ͅv͕͐͜e̳̺͔ͬͅ ̛d̢͕̩̞̒͒̊o̖͓̳̥̮͆ͨͦ̋ͨ̃͛͝ͅn̝̣̦̹e͔͖̩̮̎͆̓̅̄̒ͅ ̲̩͍̰̞͉̓t̴͉͎̹͍̤͓ͣ̅̿̓̑̀̉h͓̀͠a̡̙̳̞͓͚̼ͫ̐̃̐ͧ͊t̮̟̼̰̤͕̣͢.̺̯̖̋̚

**Wes Harris**: That's so creepy. D:

**Blaine Anderson**:Y̸̜̰͉͖͍̆̾͂͐̋͛́̓͑̄̄͂́̀͟͠Ǫ̵̨̳̣̖̜̥̣̻͇̣̘̫̯͙̠̭̜͚͛͒ͩ͆ͧ͒̄̏̈́̑ͧͫͦ͒̄̔̀͝ͅŲ̨̜͎̪̦͊ͣ́̃ͭ ̵̡̩̼̬͖̞͔͇̪͈̠̠̣̼͕͎̆̋̆ͦͨ̑ͧͦ̇͊ͪ̑Ș̵̫͓ͬ̾̔ͨ̈́̀͟͢H̡̢̤̳͙̦͈̩̦̭̯̳͕̥͕̱͙̞̬ͨ͌ͪ̓̌̚͠O̸̬͖͍͈̮͔̼̝͙̬͍̹̞̝̓͛́͌̒ͫ̔̍͐̓͝ͅU̴̹̫̺̳͇̝͓̖͈̣̥̮̙͊̒̓͆͜͡ͅͅĹ̹͙͇̹̪̹̗͚̹̩͉̭̩͌͂͛͊ͦ̈ͥ͐̚͜͠ͅͅD̨̛̬͚̘̪̟͕̬̞̬͉̭̳̭͉̙̒̑̉̀̊ͭ̍ͨͨ̒͋͆̄̔̌̍͑̚N̴̢͉̮̰̦͙̩̼̯͚̳̜̞͇͙̰̤̳͉ͯ͛ͫ͆̐̽̀͗̒̕͞'̧̨̢̲̖͔͍̖̗͈̹͔̬͕̳̆̂̅ͤͬ̄ͮ̏̅͒ͧT̮̺̺̻͓̻͎̦̫̫͈̆͂̃̄̄͂́̿̑ͨ̈͗̒̚͟ ̵̸̩͔͖͕̬͙̑̈́ͥ͂ͤͬ̄̾͛̀́͢H̡̼̬̟̠̤͈̉̋̂̎ͪ͂̎̓ͧ̉͆͐͒̚͘͝Aͫ̄̓̂͊ͪ͛̔̒ͭ̃ͨ̈ͧͧͬ̕҉̟̞̜̭͈̗̫̟̟̫̻͟V̡̱̹͍̯̯͇ͣͪͬ̃͡E̫̺̖͓̗̳̫ͮ̑ͪ͋ͬ̓̿ͩͤ͐̈́͑͝ͅ ̡̹̖̣̗͇̣͙̄̅̒̄̈̔̓̽̈ͥͭ̌̇̿́Ḑ̐̇̃ͮ̍̍ͭ͗̓͟͜͏̧̹͉͉̬̥͔̦̩̦̯O̡̪̤̦͚͔̰͔̼̜͕̎̉̋̓͋ͦ͌͑̿̚͘͠͡͡N̷̢̮̺̳̣͓͕̤̥̺̼͈̦̮̥͂̎̑͂̒͘͜E̐̂̏̐̕͏̡̫̝̻̠̞̫̩̲̬̤̗͈̟̟͍̫̲ ̵̷̯̖̮͈̟̺͉̖̞͖̖͇̳̲̱̒̀̑͒̈́͢͞͞ͅT̡̢̛̰͎̼̠̂̽̽ͧͤ̈́ͭ͗̒͒͑ͮ̀͘Ḩ̵͉̩̹̩͖̙̫̲̝̭̏̆̋̏̓ͫ̓̊̈́̊͌͒̒͛̏ͦͥͦ̀͢͡Ä͔̖̪̟͇͍̘͖̤̬̺̙̗͚̹̬́ͫ̐͊͋ͦ̍ͫͦ̚͘Ţ̡͎̟̞̖͇͕̭̤̣͔̹̝ͭ̆̊ͧ̅ͪ̿̽͊̅͂̀́͘.͍̮͖̙͌̔̆̀͘͞

**David Davidson**: I would advise sleeping with your eyes open tonight, Wesley.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** likes **Don't Touch Blaine's Redvines.**

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**,** Wes Harris**,** Sam Evans** and** 94** other friends like **Don't Touch Blaine's Redvines.**

* * *

**Wes Harris**: ˙˙˙˙˙ǝıp oʇ ƃuıoƃ ɯ,ı

**Kurt Hummel**: ˙ʍouʞ әʍ

**Puck Puckerman**: Is this a Warbler thing? :/

**Kurt Hummel**: d: ˙ǝɹnlıɐɟ noʎ ʎɐʍɐ oƃ `ʞɔnd

**Finn Hudson**: I can read this. I just turn my monitor upside down. I'm smart, bitches. :P

* * *

**Mike Chang**: ωну ιѕ єνєяуσиє υѕιиg ωєιя∂ ωяιтιиg؟

**Wes Harris**: вεсαυṡε ώε сαṉ.

* * *

**rαchєl вєrrч: **New name is cool, no? :P

_(**12** people like this)_

* * *

**Quinn Fabray**: I have a beautiful tan. Too bad it's hidden underneath this sunburn.

**Sam Evans**: Fail. :P

**Quinn Fabray**: Shut up, lemon-head. :P


	24. The Epic Battle For Kurts Heart

**I really need to write a serious fic, instead of all the complete bullshit I write in this one... :P**

** I'll try getting a chap up everyday, now that I'm on my summer hols. :)**

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: Pool party Tuesday? C:

_(**15** people like this)_

**Wes Harris:** In.

**David Davidson**: Same.

**Blaine Anderson**: I'm in. :D

* * *

**Puck Puckerman** to **Rachel Berry**: What time?

**Rachel Berry**: 2pm till whenever. :)

**Wes Harris**: ALL NIGHT POOL PARTY!

_(**14** people like this)_

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Kurt Hummel**: You, me, Britt, Tina, Rachel, Cedes, Quinn, Lauren, 20 minutes. Be ready.

**Kurt Hummel**: ... for what? D:

**Santana Lopez**: Swimwear shopping.

**Kurt Hummel**: Oh, okay. :)

**Santana Lopez**: What were you thinking, you dirty bastard? :P

_(**3** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: He's mine anyway. ;)

**Santana Lopez**: Enjoy it while you can.

**Blaine Anderson**: I will. ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: Wait, what? What do you mean, "while you can"?

**Santana Lopez**: He's really mine. I will fight you for him, hobbit.

**Blaine Anderson**: Bring it.

* * *

**Puck Puckerman**: How come Kurt gets all the babes? ):

**Wes Harris**: Because he's sexy.

**David Davidson**: True that. ;)

**Blaine Anderson**: Don't touch mah boy, ya hear?

* * *

**Wes Harris**: Most embarrassing things you've ever hear Blaine say? GO GO GO!

**Rachel Berry**: Have you ever noticed how sexy Mr. Schue is?

**David Davidson**: Damn Kurt! I need a cigerette. ;) (I was NOT evesdropping.)

_(**3** people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman**: How gay do I look? (Says he in a pair of white jeans and navy and white striped top.)

Jeff Hewson: Alright, who stole my handcuffs?

**Burt Hummel**: So... how bout them Lakers?

_(**15** people like this)_

**Wes Harris**: Ahhh...! That was so funny!

**Blaine Anderson**: D:

**Burt Hummel**: You're still not allowed in my house.

**Blaine Anderson**: ):

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: Found the perfect bikini! :)

**Lauren Zizes**: Mines hotter.

**Santana Lopez**: No, mine.

**Lauren Zizes**: NUH-UH.

**Santana Lopez**: YA-HUH.

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Blaine Anderson**: Wear a cup on Tuesday. It might get nasty.

**Blaine Anderson**: Won't need one. I'll win the Epic Battle For Kurts Heart.

**Santana Lopez**: He's mine. *narrows eyes.*

**Blaine Anderson:** MINE.

**Santana Lopez**: MIIIIIIINNNNE.

**Blaine Anderson**: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

**Santana Lopez**: RAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

* * *

**I'll do more later. Its almost midnight and I'm tired.**


	25. Santana Vs Blaine: Part 1

**It's 11:05**

**Lets see how long it takes to write this motherfucker. **

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: I WILL win the battle.

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: I laugh at that bitch who thinks he can take me.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson: **It's on, MOTHERFUCKERS!

**Rachel Berry**: Thats not very dapper. :(

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: I have a feeling that I don't really get a say in who I date anymore...

_(**13** people like this)_

**Santana Lopez**: Damn straight you don't. You're mine, Hummel. End of story.

**Blaine Anderson**: Leave my boy alone.

**Burt Hummel**: Leave MY boy alone, punk.

_(**17** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Yessir...

* * *

**Wes Harris** likes **Burt Hummel Owns Blaine Anderson.**

* * *

**David Davidson**, **Jeff Hewson**, and **282** others like **Burt Hummel Owns Blaine Anderson.**

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: If this Blaine Vs. Santana thing was a movie, what would it be called?

**Wes Harris**: Latino Destroys Fun-Sized Teen: XL

**Puck Puckerman**: Hobbit vs. HBIC: UNCUT

_(**3** people like this)_

**Santana Lopez**: Midget Gets Beat: XTREME

**Blaine Anderson**: I amn't even that short, you guys... ):

**David Davidson**: You really are, Frodo.

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: The only reason I'm going to the Pool Party is to watch the "battle." :D

**Lauren Zizes**: Thats the only reason I'm going. :P

**Sam Evans**: I think thats the only reason EVERYONE is going. :P

* * *

**Quinn Fabray**: One day, I want to copy someones status word for word, and see if they notice. :P

* * *

**Mike Chang**:One day, I want to copy someones status word for word, and see if they notice. :P

* * *

**Artie Abrams**:One day, I want to copy someones status word for word, and see if they notice. :P

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**: One day, I want to copy someones status word for word, and see if they notice. :P

* * *

**Rachel Berry**: One day, I want to copy someones status word for word, and see if they notice. ;)

**Mike Chang**: It was a tongue smiley, not a winky. Epic fail. :P

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**: "Like" this if you think I'm going to win the battle.

_(**Kurt Hummel** likes this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Thanks babe. :)

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: "Like" this coz you KNOW I'm gonna win the battle.

_(**149** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Whatever. Kurt liked mine.

**Santana Lopez**: *narrows eyes*

**Blaine Anderson**: GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Santana Lopez**: RRAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRR!

**Kurt Hummel**: You guys have got to stop this... :/

_(**38** people like this)_

* * *

**11:27**

**Not too bad. :P**

**Oh! I keep forgetting! **

_**THANK YOU SO MUCH! 50,000 HITS! AND 200 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS!**_


	26. Jane Austen Novels

**Okay, I know I said I'd write everyday, and I've put this off for 6 days now. I'm sorry. ):**

**Take me back?**

* * *

**Wes Harris**: If you ruled the world, what would you do?

_(**4** people like this)_

**Rachel Berry**: Make a musical about how talented I am.

**David Davidson**: Buy out NERF.

**Blaine Anderson: **I'd plant flowers. (:

_(**13** people like this)_

**Puck Puckerman: **I'd have... snakes. :D

**Mike Chang**: And goblins!

**Puck Puckerman**: And werewolves!

**Mike Chang**: A fleet of dementors!

**Puck Puckerman**: and Giants!

**Mike Chang**: and thestrals.

**Puck Puckerman**: And Death Eaters!

**Blaine Anderson**: And Jane Austen novels. :3

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: The fight is drawing near. I can taste it.

**Brittany Pierce**: What does it taste like?

**Santana Lopez**: Cool mints. :3

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: What should I wear on Tuesday? (:

**Santana Lopez**: Nothing that you actually like. It will get covered in hobbit blood.

**Kurt Hummel:** No biggie**. **I had stuff covered in hobbit blood already. Not intentionally though. o.O

**Blaine Anderson**: Yeah, that was awkward. D:

**Kurt Hummel**: We really had no idea what we were doing. S:

**Blaine Anderson**: We do now. ;)

_(**Kurt Hummel** likes this)_

* * *

**Mercedes Jones**: I just spent 8 hours playing Sims 3. D:

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: Been there, done that. :O

* * *

**Sam Evans** to **Santana Lopez**: So... what kind of fight will this be?

**Santana Lopez**: A messy one.

* * *

**Finn Hudson** to** Blaine Anderson**: Where did the blood come from? I mean, Kurt hardly stabbed you.

**Blaine Anderson**: Forget about it man. That was months ago.

**Finn Hudson**: Tell me. :(

**Blaine Anderson**: No.

**Finn Hudson**: Tell me.

**Blaine Anderson**: No way.

**Finn Hudson:** Please?

**Blaine Anderson**: No.1 You don't wanna know. No.2 It's very embarrassing. No.3. I'm never gonna tell you.

**Finn Hudson:** :L

**Santana Lopez**: I'll tell you.

**Finn Hudson**: :D

**Blaine Anderson**: NO! Santana, do NOT do that! Santana DON'T.

**Santana Lopez**: Too late. ;)

* * *

**Finn Hudson**: Blaine is not allowed in my house anymore.

**Blaine Anderson**: I amn't anyway...

**Kurt Hummel**: Yeah, we just chill at his.

**Finn Hudson**: "Chill" is not what you do.

**Blaine Anderson**: True... :P

**Kurt Hummel**: Why would you tell him that? He thinks the only thing we use beds for are pillow forts!

**Blaine Anderson**: Santana told him. And he caught us before?

**Kurt Hummel**: I told him that we were mud wrestling, minus the mud. And the wrestling.

**Finn Hudson**: I was pretty apprehensive about that, actually...

* * *

**So, anyone have any embarrassing sexual encounters that they'd like to share with me for inspiration?**

**I'd tell you mine, but I'm a closeted lesbian. I've never even been kissed, so... **

**Yeah, I have none. :P**


	27. Free Elf

**I only said I was gay because none of you know who I am. :P**

**Oh, and those reviews made me LOL! I'm totes robbing those for this. Any objections? Nope? KTHNXBAI!**

**Anyway... **

* * *

**Burt Hummel: **I got the most interesting phone call today...

**Kurt Hummel**: I can explain. D:

**Burt Hummel**: No you can't.

**Blaine Anderson**: We can, sir**.**

**Burt Hummel**: Leave, punk.

**Blaine Anderson**: Okay. ):

**Kurt Hummel**: O.o

**Burt Hummel**: Kitchen, Kurt. 5 minutes.

**Kurt Hummel**: ):

* * *

**Wes Harris** to** Finn Hudson**: Call me and leave the phone in the kitchen! :D

**Finn Hudson**: I dunno man...

**David Davidson**: Judging from Burts status, it was a Klaine moment.

**Wes Harris**: A HILARIOUS (for us) Klaine moment.

**David Davidson**: We need to know what happened. :D

**Finn Hudson**: Well, okay. :3

**Wes Harris**: YES!

* * *

**David Davidson**: Some people wouldn't think to put their phone on lock.**..**

**Wes Harris**: Especially during sexitiemz.

**Rachel Berry:** You guys really do need to leave Klaine alone.**.**.

**David Davidson**: NEVER!

**Kurt Hummel**: Remember when I said I couldn't get any more "talks"? I was wrong.

_(**5** people like this)_

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: 2 days...

_(**34** people like this)_

**Blaine Anderson**: Until I kick your ass.

_(**19** people like this)_

* * *

**Puck Puckerman **to **Blaine Anderson**: When you fight Santana, claw at her bikini top. ;)

_(**27** people like this)_

**Blaine**** Anderson**: No way.

**Puck Puckerman**: What? Why not? :(

**Blaine**** Anderson**: ...I'll get cooties. :O

* * *

**Wes Harris** to** Sam Evans, David Davidson, Finn Hudson, Puck Puckerman, Artie Abrams **and** Mike Chang.**

Okay guys. We need to troll the shit out of Blaine. For the lulz.

**Sam Evans**: You sent us all a PM for this?

**Wes Harris**: So?

**Sam Evans**: And why?

**David Davidson**: Just coz.

**Puck Puckerman**: Just troll the hobbit, Sam.

**David Davidson**: For part one, I suggest we all bring socks to the pool party and make him a free elf.

**Artie Abrams**: :D

* * *

**Rachel Berry** to** Finn Hudson**: Did you get my teeext?

**Finn Hudson**: Yes, Rachel.

**Rachel Berry**: You didn't text me baaack.

* * *

**:)**


	28. Wild Monkeys

**Santana Lopez: **One. More. Day.

* * *

**Blaine Anderson**. I'll win.

* * *

**Santana Lopez**: I'LL win both the battle, and Kurt's heart.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel**: And once again, I am left without a say in who I date.

_(**25** people like this)_

* * *

**Artie Abrams** is single.

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** are single.

**Santana Lopez**: Wanna talk about it boo?

**Brittany Pierce:** No. ):

**Santana Lopez**: C'mon Britt, I know you do. Come over to my house. We can talk about it. (:

**Brittany Pierce:** Okay. ):

* * *

**Brittany Pierce** checked into** Hell (Lopez Residence)**

* * *

**Santana Lopez: **Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream is the best healer.

**Puck Puckerman**: Really? I prefer weed.

_**(13** people like this)_

* * *

**Blaine Anderson** to **Santana Lopez**: How about we skip the fight, and have a supermegafoxyawesomehot threesome? ;)

**Santana Lopez:** No.

**Blaine Anderson**: What?

**Santana Lopez**: No.

**Blaine Anderson**: Why not?

**Santana Lopez**: Why would I share Kurt, when I'm going to get all of him tomorrow? ;)

**Kurt Hummel**: I'm not a prize...

* * *

**Mike Chang **to** Tina Cohen-Chang**: Here's to our one year aniversary. Breadstix at 8? Love you! :*

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: I love you too. :)

* * *

**Santana Lopez** to **Blaine Anderson**: Since you are going to lose anyway, you can pick the type of fight.

**Blaine Anderson**: Any type of fight?

**Santana Lopez**: That's what I just said.

* * *

**David Davidson**: I don't know why Santana thinks she is going to win the fight...

**Wes Harris**: I know. We tried to kidnap Kurt once and Blaine fought us off like we were wild monkeys.

**David Davidson**: He's surprisingly strong for a hobbit.

**Blaine Anderson**: Damn straight.


	29. Wake Up!

**I'll be on hiatus from Tuesday to August 7th-ish. I'm normally on hiatus without reason anyway, and for that, I apologize. Sorry dudes. But I will actually be in another country this time! Trapped in a tiny townhouse in a tiny town in rural France, with 10 people, 3 bedrooms, no privacy... And to top it all off, my homophobic and racist grandparents have travelled across the world and they'll be in the house too.**

**):**

**Yeah, anyway, so ficlet chapter. Yeah. Enjoy.**

**Oh, and 75,000 hits and nearly 250 reviews! Thank you guys!**

**:)**

* * *

**9:23 - Anderson Residence.**

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beeeeeep._

A sallow arm reached out and silenced the alarm clock on his bedside locker. The boy rolled over and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. The red colour on his walls was harsh in morning. He groggily reached for his phone. He locked at the display.

**_July 2nd - 9:23 - 3 messages_**

Blaine slid his thumb gently over the touch screen to unlock it. He opened the first message.

_Hey babe. :) See you. Be careful with Santana, pick something that isn't violent for the fight. ;) Love you. ~K xxxxx_

A small smile played on the Warblers face. He opened the next message.

_Dude. I have. The best. Idea. EVER. Challenge her to a limbo contest! You'll win by default, because you can just walk under the bar each time! -W_

He shook his head a chuckled. That was a good idea, apart from the fact that they were the same height. He grinned as he opened his newest message. It was from David.

_Harry. Potter. -D.D_

How Blaine loved Mr. Davidson at that moment. The curly haired boy dropped his phone back onto his mattress and sat on his bed, facing outwards, feet on the floor. The carpet was soft and scratchy between his toes. The boy took a deep breath and stood up. He reached for a towel on the back of a chair and plodded into the bathroom for a daily shower, taking off his shirt as he closed the door with his foot.

* * *

**9:45 - Lopez Residence.**

The hispanic girl pulled the blonde tighter to her body. The little spoon smiled a smile that no one saw. The big one was happier than anything, just by having the blonde beside her.

"Santana?" the blue eyed girl whispered.

"Yeah, Britt-Britt?" the brown eyed one replied.

"Why are you fighting for Kurt today?"

"To prove that hobbit wrong."

"But what if-"

"Not if, when."

"When you win, what happens to Blaine?"

"Dunno."

"Because, you've been saying that you want Kurt, but you said that you loved me."

"I do love you."

"Then why not give up the fight?"

"It's a matter of pride, Britt."

"Huh?"

"I need people to know I'm strong, Britt. I need people to know who's the Head Bitch."

"But why?"

"I just do, okay?" Santana put all her energy into making sure her voice didn't quiver on that.

"I'd still love you if you gave up the fight, you know."

* * *

**10:05 - Anderson Residence**

Blaine let the hot water run down his body while he thought of ways he could use his knowledge of Harry Potter to destroy Santana. He squirted some purple shampoo into his hand and he worked it into his hair. _Think, think... _A small smile crept across the wet boys face. He rinsed the last of the shampoo out of his ebony hair and turned off the shower. He opened the shower door and looked around the steam filled room for his navy towel. He wrapped it around his waist and padded back into his room, needing to find something he hadn't used in years.

* * *

**10:20 - Berry Residence**

Rachel Berry turned the key in the lock of her liquor cabinet. Not again.

* * *

**10:22 - Hummel-Hudson Residence.**

A lithe boy was in the kitchen, frying eggs in an old black pan. A taller one crept downstairs, like a moth to flame. The latter went to a cupboard and lifted out two porcelain plates and gently placed them on the countertop. The smaller one flipped two eggs onto one plate, and the last one onto the other.

"Hey Kurt."

"Yes Finn?"

"Aren't you worried about, toy know, the fight?"

"Should I be?"

"Yeah. I mean, if Santana wins, she's gonna do some bad things to you. She'll take your V-card man!" the older boy exclaimed between mouthfuls of egg.

"...Finn, none of that stuff is ever going to happen in the future."

"Including losing your V-Card?"

"Losing it in the future? No, that won't happen."

"But Kurt! You should, I mean, sex is , not soon. Wait until you're married, and stuff... "

"I'm just saying I won't be losing it in the furture."

"But then when?"

"Not in the _future_, anyway."

"Wait..."

"Hey, look at the time. Gotta get ready."

"Kurt, come back here! I needa talk to you about that hobbit!"

* * *

**10:30 - Anderson Residence.**

The hobbitish boy had already ransacked his room, looking for his battle weapons. Not under the bed, not in drawers, not on the desk and not on a shelf. Which means they were probably in the attic. Blaine hated the attic.

There's bats up there.

* * *

**11:00 - Abrams Residence**

Artie lay in bed, not bothered to get up, or even get breakfast. His energy was sapped since he an Brittany broke up. He lay there, awake, and just stared at his about where he went wrong. One word. Just one word.

Stupid.

And ironically enough, he was the stupid one. For throwing everything he had away.

* * *

**11:10 -Anderson Residence.**

The short boy crept around the spacious attic. Boxes everywhere, he tried not to trip. He opened a small cardboard one to his left. It had baby pictures in it. He put inside another box, and put that box in another box. Boxception. Just in case his mom decided to show them to Kurt. Maybe that only happened in movies, but whatever. No chances. Kurt has only ever seen dapper!Blaine, not curly haired Potter glasses baby Blaine. He glanced at his watch. Quarter past eleven. Shit! He needed to find his weapon, it was an hour and half quarters drive to the Berry's house. He sped over to a red plastic storage container. It was _the box_. Job! He rifled through the contents that his 13 year old self liked. Books, comics, cards, shirts and _them._

The secret weapon.

* * *

**Shit bros. I have the worst case of writers block ever. Imma split up the ficlet chapter, coz this has been in my here for over a week. I can't put off publishing for longer.**

**Oh, and follow me on tumblr! **

**Thatinvisiblegirl. T U M B L R . com**


	30. Logging Off

guys i'm deleting my account

this is old and embarassing and OOC and not even PC

thank you for all the reviews and views

jo out


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